Conchita - part 1 (of 2)

June 24^th, 2016 in a small town in Washington

written by Larry, Cathy and Jean

Conchita blinked from the brightness of the sun as she came out of her small honey colored trailer and started the walk to her work at Harvest Foods Lep-Re-Kon, the only grocery store in town. Then realising how late she was, she backtracked and got into her car, driving the half mile or so. As usual, she hadn't had enough sleep. The kids were fooling around and making noises all hours of the night, and in the little tin house they lived in they could hear all the neighbours' noises too.

Today was Tomas' 10^th birthday, and she didn't have a gift for him. He would be so disappointed, but somehow her paycheck and the food stamps never went far enough, and it was nearly  the end of the month and there was no credit, nothing. Maybe she could get her boss Tony to let her bring home some groceries against her pay check – after all it was only six days till it was due, and these were important circumstances.

Conchita thought about her birthday, not long ahead now. She would be 30, and that was a milestone and a half. Almost middle aged. She couldn't remember ever feeling young. Her first boy, whom she'd called Miguel was 14, and she wasn't much older than that when she had him. His dad was a real smart alack – who decided he wanted her and he was going to have her, no matter what. He still lived in town, and although she had told him he was Miguel's father – he wouldn't believe it. He said she certainly couldn't prove it – with her track record. So she'd had a few boys – that's life. And then to be stuck with a baby when she hadn't even finished high school. What chance did she have? Her parents couldn't have cared less, and then not long after that, they moved to Pasco, and she never even heard from them at Christmas. They could probably walk down Colombia Street right now, and she wouldn't even recognise them, or them her.

Life was tough those first months, and if it hadn't been for Malcolm in the motel, she probably would have drowned herself. He said she could help clean out the motel, and get her room and board for doing that. Not that there was much in the way of food – just the cereals and rolls left by the guests after breakfast each day. But it was enough to survive on, and she was a survivor.

Things seemed to go well for awhile, and then after the baby came, she needed more money – for stuff for him, for a push chair, for a baby bed. So Malcolm said he could arrange for some of his friends to come and visit her, discreetly in the night in the motel. He said they would come in silently at midnight, and without a word, would have it off with her, and she would get $25. What did she think of that? Beggers can't be choosers, is what she thought. If it was dark and they were quiet, she could pretend it never really happened.

So they started to come in, and she never even knew their names. Sometimes there were more than one who came, and she guessed it didn't really matter if she could do it quickly and get it over and still get some sleep before the baby woke up. But in wasn't more than a month or two before she realised that she was up the duff again. She thought about getting an abortion, but somebody at the motel told her it cost thousands of dollars if you get it done in the back streets, and how could she go to the hospital. They would put her in jail for soliciting. She knew what she was. Anyway it was against her religion.

When she got to be about six months' along, the bump started to show, and Malcolm said the guys weren't all that interested in her any more. But he said he had one guy who would pay her even more if he could do it up her bottom. At first Conchita thought he was crazy and said no way. But then when the weeks went by, and no extra money was coming in, she thought it over again.

“Is that man still interested?” she asked Malcolm. “I suppose I could do it once, but it would cost him a lot more. It would cost him $100, and I would want to have lots of vasoline, and if I don't like it or it hurts too much I won't ever do it again.”

He agreed, and it did hurt, but she had five crisp $20 notes by her bed to make her feel a lot better. And the practice continued.

But she didn't feel better when the baby was born dead. They told her there was no obvious cause, but she knew in her heart that it was her greed that killed her baby. After that the clinic made her go on the pill, so that would keep the babies away, but it was a long time before she felt like earning money in that way again.

She was nearly at the grocery now and had no time for any more of this daydreaming. What a life she had had. She could write a book about it, if she was the type that liked doing that sort of thing or had the time. She wondered if anybody would be interested in knowing about her life.

Before long it was break time, and Conchita went to Tony, her boss, to ask for an advance on her pay check in the form of groceries. “I want to make something nice for the kids tonight. It's Tomas' birthday. If I could get $50 worth of food, with my discount, I could make some nice tacos and get lots of different chips and and get a cake and maybe some ice cream. And the kids haven't had pop for awhile either. And to be honest, I could kill for a beer in this hot weather,” she said with a sly grin.

Tony had been one of her customers but hadn't come for some time now. She wasn't sure but she thought he was probably Maria's father. Poor kid, there was something wrong with her. She couldn't sit still, and kept running away from school. ADHD the teacher said, and that she should get her some special medicine to make her calm down. But she didn't want to drug her kid so she was little better than a zombie.

“How are the kids?” asked Tony. “How's Maria doing these days?”

“I pretty much don't worry if she takes off and runs around on her own all day. Sometimes she takes little Juan with her, but she seems to know how to take care of him, and he loves going out with her. It means one less for me to worry about leaving alone when I go to work now its school vacation time.”

“You know how difficult you find it to survive on your check without getting an advance,” he said. “We've had this conversation before, and then the next month, you start begging earlier than ever. You've got to learn to live within your means, Conchita. You should put the candles in a toasted cheese sandwich. He'd be just as happy with that.”

“Oh please, Tony,” she said. “If you could see those little kids faces when they get a treat.”

“How many kids have you got all together now Conchita? I lose count.”

“Miguel's the oldest, he's 14. Then comes Tomas, who is 10. The twins - Jose and Hose-B – that's what we call him, but his real name is Hostia, - They're getting on for 8.”

“Are they a lot alike being twins?”

“They play together all the time, but sometimes they mix with the other kids. But really they are like one person split in two, both in looks and in personality.”

“So that's four of them, so who's after that?”

“Maria is 7, and then the baby Juan is nearly 3.”

“And you all live in that trailer down the road? How can you all fit in?”

“Miguel sleeps on the couch. The boys have triple bunk beds and Maria and Juan sleep with me. I won't pretend it isn't crowded,” she said with a laugh.

“What do you do when you need a man in your life?” he said teasingly.

“Oh, I have my ways and means, don't you worry about that,” she said. “If you're interested, you only need to let me know.”

“I just might do that,” he came back.

So Conchita went back to her till, and when she wasn't busy she made a list of what she could get for her $50 worth. She thought just maybe she had money for a real present – like a bit of Star Wars lego that the kids were talking about.