Rain third position

Cherry

By alphadog1

Sun, 27 Nov 2016
  • 3831 reads
9 comments
 

Rain.

 

I love the near silent sound of rain,

Its delicate intricacy secretly overwhelms.

Though it never tickles, as it tenderly trickles,

forever failing to touch my -near parted- lips

That rest, warm, plump and heavy,

Close to the cold crystal of the steamed window pane.

 

I love the radiant light of rain;

I love its fracturing geometry.

For it glimmers, as it glisten’s

Kaleidoscopically, slicing, in heavy pulsing throws,

To build within me   a scented sweet liquid refrain.

Whose melody frees my quake-ridden mind

from the sad, the empty, and the mundane.

 

I love the frosted benumbing touch of rain;

I love its clear sharpened ability.

For it reverberates, as it replicates,

In a perfect symmetry

With such torrid, vibrant ice bone finger's,

That caress the needy depths that rest,

Yet unburdened from my heaving breast.

 

 

I love the fragrant recollection of the rain;

Its wealthy scent is rich in pre-possessing.

Its depths recall   images of secret desires

A needy itch, a lust ridden entwine,

Around -and upon- that heavy purple vine,

and then -once sated- simply sigh,

To finally and so very snugly rest,

then warmly feel you upon my chest.

While amongst this gentle pattering;

There echoes from this thundering sky

Words that rise and never die.

 

 

...Oh how I wish to God that you were mine....

 

© Adh 2010  redraft 2016 

Certificate 18
Poem
Erotica

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

I prefer the sun, but I guess I'm not the only one. Without rain I fear makind would be history. 

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on

 Its a very old poem that I felt needed a touch up as the metaphor didn't look accurate 

 

Submitted by alphadog1 on

It is an old poem that I went back and tidied up 

 

Submitted by thornwood on

Im not trying to be smart or funny and once I wrote a poem rejoicing rain but you see what hapened in melbourne last week when it rained

I bet the people of melbourne wont share your joy of the rain. The rain triggered poisenous toxins into the atmosphere hospitalising thousands and killed a few. It was the first this time this has ever been witnessed.

Celticmans recent poem about the weather is probably a more acurate point of were we as a species are with the weather. I hope not but I fear the weather system mostly with natures direction may be about to unleash a kind of doomsday plot against us for our threatening behaviour against nature.

Sorry if my rant has in anyway undermined a very poetical nice piece of work just wanted to say though that the rain maybe not be as lovely and refreshing as we once thought.

Who is to blame for that I wonder maybe honest joe bloggs jetting of on holidays the airplanes fuel hurting the ozone layer the threat of nuclear fusion on earth the list of possibiltys is endless.

I admit maybe im.wrong but maybe im.not. the silent majority arent bothered anyway as long as they get theyre holidays is all a ok.

Les hope im wrong though an its just a glitch.

Stephen d

Submitted by alphadog1 on

The original text was written in 2010, (or therabouts) My memory is fuzzy as I get increasingly unwell. And was originally written in celebration of something I actually hate. (The idea behind the poem was to try to find something beautiful in something I loath. At the time I was working on a short story "a gathering of crows and working on the rain at the beginning of the text as a means to find something both beautiful erotic and mysterious)  Its easy for me to talk and write  about,  say Autumn,  or long summer days in corn fields, or long grass, or  butterflies; and in my erotic texts being intmate. Its harder for me to think about grey miserable days in the same positive light.  

In relation to the toxin release in Melbourne, that is news. I am acutely aware of our imppact upon the planet and how many are in utter denial about it. Cognitive dissonance, is that the phrase I am looking for? Or simply greedy bastards who  think that more millions is not enough, they need billions to keep the new middle class millionairs in their place.
As I said recently in a facebook link there are 7 billion people living on this planet out of which 3 billion drive cars and 2 billion take planes all of which fills the atmosphere with pollutants.  Add to this a  lack of control  in relation to deforestation because everybody wants to be rich; and we have a catastrophe of our own making staring at us.To deny we have an impact upon our planet is obscene. Its Randism perfected. 

I have written many texts considering the beautyand spiritual awakening  of nature (see the green man)  so I am acutely aware of the damage going on, and this frustrates me greatly. 

From a poetic standpoint I still stand by the text.I also prefer this version; mainly because I removed a metaphor that simply didn't work. 

Kind regards 
AD Hunt 

 

Submitted by thornwood on

Sorry mate. I feel a bit guilty about my rant and how it might distract from your fine piece of poetry.

It is a fine poem and beutifully expressed.

Im orignally from glasgow the windy city so i know about rain and it deserves a romantic poetical mention which you have done and the cherry is well deserved.

Im a bit unwell too at the moment and emotionally all over the place so I rant on sometimes.

Your poem deserves more respect than that. I was going to delete my comment but instead have added this so if others viewing can see a bit more deeper.

Take care mate and keep writing your poetry as its excellent an I not just say that.

Kind Regards

Stephen d

Submitted by alphadog1 on

I'm so sorry to hear you are sick and emotionally all over the place.I know about that ony too well. Unemployed unable to claim and at 49 washed up by a society that is geared around a quazi youth culture, the selfie, the  vlog and the celebration of the self. In all honesty I have had enough of this tatty world where the needs of a few wealthy monsters are more important than the rest of us and the poor are reduced to hmelessness  and living on spikes because the rich are fucking ashamed of their actions but cannot face the reality of what they have done. 

I was atossed in 2010, in a room that reminded me of a sorting room in Shindler's list. I remember the cramped room the air of dispair as the woman behind  a glass window shouted to keep order. people were shaking and crying...I was told to go home that day as there were too many people. when i returned a month later the room was quatter full.but still it was horrible. All I could see were peoplemy age, my generation reduced to crying and coughing because they were trapped by illness or by addiction because what they could do (factory work) was taken from them.
Eventually The woman I saw  was large, she had  thick red lips, where big teeth shone from and red hair  that was pulled back into her skull with pins. 
I have epilepsy; a sort of non condition that shops don't like, kitchen's and factories and even recycling plants cannot have. I cannot drive either. My test, for want of a better word  involved reading. This was all I did. A month later Atos had cured me of my condition and declared I was fit for work. 
I have never denied that I was not fit for work. I just couldn't get into any position that would have me because I would say epilepsy and they would smile and look away.  Hopelessness does bad things to people. It makes people  turn to negative things for relief, but these things are no help. They hide the problem, which isn't theirs to start with. 

so I went to the OU got myself an honours  degree in English language and literature.  (recieved last year.) and where has that led me?Back to the voluntary sector.  The thing is, I know why things happen now; before the degree,  I was ignorant to the system and how it is bent to serve those in authority; moreover,  how those in authority will do anything to keep their control, even if that means disavowing what they consider the surplus population. I know this now as I reach the end of this life. (in pain and rage)  But my rage passes like a squall. I will be remembed by people far better than I, while those who reside in authority will crumble into dust. 

Please send a link to the weather in Melbourne. 

With very kind regards 

AD Hunt 

 

Submitted by thornwood on

Please dont give up looking for a better place to be mentally and emotionally keep writing about it. A degree is english lit is very impressive.

Your clearly clued up about the ins and outs of creative writing which I see so you have options.Fiction non fiction poetry biography the pen is yours brother. Part of the systems ideas is to control and put us in a negative place if we dont toe the line or disagree in any way. Remember this and to deal with it maybe say no I aint going to let it drag me right down.

You have options here. My favourite kind of writing is non.fiction real life and im sure this is becoming the most popular type of writing that the public want to read so your journey through it all how you think how you feel how you manage the highs and the lows would make great reading I think or poetry about it all. Or mix it up with a fictional tale.

The pen is yours mate to go forward and if your in a writers block not worry it come again.

Stay safe. I send you positive vibes brother.

Kind regards

I hope I not sound like preacher or like but I hear what you say I have all these issues to diagnosed with scitzophrenia and all the shit that comes with it. And I listen to this advice too cause I get these shit rotten days when everything is against me and I see no way forward but the systems bad side like that and laugh so I think no I walk on looking for better days, always.

Stephen d

Submitted by alphadog1 on

Totally agree about the system.its a great term for it. It describes what it does perfectly. I have a few mates with scitzophrenia; its a bastard! made even more impossible by the largest bunch of psychopaths gathered in one place (Westminster) who have cut out mental health care from their budget. I am planning to write about my Atos experience as, to be honest, no one should be treated like that; and I wasn't alone in thinking that.  stay well. my email is huntandrewdavid@gmail.com or Facebook me at Andrew David Hunt.I'm the face of Che right now 

with fond regards  Andy