Grimm Truths: The Magic Godfather

Tonight, Prince Charming has his Ball,
But in some ancient manor hall
A young maid sits and weeps in woe,
For she is not allowed to go.

A flash of light! A puff of smoke!
The maid looks up – is this a joke?
From somewhere out there in the night
A man's appeared, dressed all in white.

He says, "Don't be afraid of me,
I'm here to help you, for you see,
"I am…" He coughs and starts to choke,
"Could someone clear that flippin' smoke?"

He starts again, and states, "My dear,
I've known you for many a year.
Your Fairy Godmother's my wife.
Tonight's the best night of your life!"

He shows I.D, and family pics
Of him, his wife, and in the mix
Are the maid's parents, and their child.
"Your christening! How your folks smiled!"

"So now that you know who I am,
I'll help you get out of this jam.
But to make things completely clear,
I'll let you know why I am here.

My wife, this task she had to shirk,
She has a meeting up at work.
So she called me, and said, "Hey, Mike,
Go down and help the poor young tyke."

But you're no tyke – you're fully grown,
And want a husband of your own!
You're going to that ball - don't cry!
Your Magic Godfather am I!"

The maiden smiles, leaps to her feet,
She looks at Mike, and cries out, "Sweet!
To start, I'll need a brand new frock –
Ideally of designer stock."

Mike nods his head, and says "No probs,
No mortal dress beats magic jobs.
When you walk in, just hear 'em shriek...
You'll top Fairytale Fashion Week!"

He waves his wand. Before her eyes,
Her dress is now a sequinned prize.
A gorgeous outfit that's unique,
A perfect fit and trés, trés chic!

"Great stuff!" she cries, "But as you see,
I still can't get from A to B.
The entrance of a future bride
Is going to need one pimped-out ride."

Mike thinks, and tells her, "Yes, that's true,
But I have just the thing for you.
Now, pumpkins are no speed machines,
But marrows make great limousines!"

She brings a marrow, sets it down.
"I'll have the best transport in town!"
Mike casts his spell, and all is well,
The limo's great for this femme belle.

The scene is set – the maid looks great,
But Mike warns, "Don't stop out too late!
While you have fun, the time will fly.
At midnight, kiss all this goodbye!"

The maid gasps loudly. "Now I know
About the time limit, let's go!"
And so, she's chauffeured down the street
By Mike, who's in the driving seat.

He drops her off… and then, a smile.
"Perhaps I could stay for a while.
I'll go up to the bar, methinks,
And get myself one or two drinks."

So, it turns out that, after all,
Both of our friends went to the Ball.
But while the maid found her love true,
Mike just enjoyed a pint or two.

Well, to be honest, that's not true.
Mike had some drinks, but more than two.
His sense of moderation stunk
That night, because he got blind drunk.

But later on came Marilyn –
Mike's wife, who made her own way in.
And when she saw her husband's state,
She groaned, and yelled, "Well, that's just great!"

"At least the girl is having fun!
No, don't pour him another one!
He's coming home, and let's just hope
You haven't spoilt it all, you dope!"

The night's end was bad for the maid –
Her lift back evermore delayed
Due to her driver's absence. Still,
She got home… minus one high heel.

But even though Mike played the clown,
Prince Charming tracked his dear maid down.
They kissed, they hugged, and they were wed,
While Mike woke up with a sore head.

So, all in all, things ended well,
Though Marilyn gave poor Mike hell.
He didn't really win or lose –
She just made him give up the booze!