The Oil Refinery

Aye, Grangemouth Bowling Club has produced a few spanners. 

person narration is notoriously difficult to pull off, but you've managed it well. What I like so much about what you do is the vast swathes of subtext, the gaps between the lines that are so tempting to fill and that we are unlikely to get wrong because you write so well.

Splendid.

Ewan

Lovely piece of writing.  As Ewan says, so much that is unwritten but so very clearly said.  My Dad worked at Grangemouth Refinery, aeons before the Kelpies, my earliest memories are of living there.  So a bit of nostalgia for this reader!  

My mate works in there now and my brother lives beside it. 

OK...so now you've had me Google mapping my old address, and Zetland Park, and the church hall where I was sent to dance classes.  They've knocked down my old school and built flats there!

Such a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing. I think you show so much in this - the area, background of the two people, relationship and so much about the father. I felt the part about the Kelpies and your description of them set the mood for the rest. It certainly left me wanting to read more, yet was a nicely finished piece in its own right. (First story for me to read here and I definitely picked a good one!)

What everyone has said above - especially about the writing between the lines. So pleased you managed to get funding for the MA, and I'm sure you will have a great time with it - best of luck! xx

Also, thank you for mentioning the kelpies which I'd never heard of before - they are spectacular!

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The opening sets the scene effectively. and you get us into what has happened.The final paragraph is flawless, I see the man in front of me and can guess at the unmet needs on both sides.

The lines, the paragraphs - it all moves forward slowly but there's such an undertone that you've set with the monolothic oil refinery that you cling to each carefully chosen word. That last sentence in the first paragraph is professional scene setting. 

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