The Trouble With Breathing

Cherry

By onemorething

Sun, 26 Apr 2020
  • 3494 reads
9 comments
 

Your footprints are hardened imprints

set into the tissue of my lungs,

nursed on oxygen,

nestled amongst networks of alveoli,

a trace fossil of the history

of your presence in the absence of you.

If I could reach behind my ribs

I might track the outlines with my fingers,

gather up the blooms of shame:

you were here, and here,

and here again - enough to fret

this time-smoothed scar of an impression.

This old sorrow is couched

under layers of epidermis, unseen,

its memory, a murmuration of dark matter,

a ghost of pain;

it is not heartache,

it is the trouble with breathing.

 

Image is from wikimedia commons of a fossilised footprint.

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fossil_footprint,_Desert_Museu...

Certificate PG
Poem

Comments

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

I have ceased to be surprised by the quality of your poetry, Rachel, which never disappoints. What fascinates me is the regularity of your input. I'd like to know if you write them spontaneously, on the spot  so to speak, or whether you ponder on your thoughts before putting pen to paper.
This one sounds so simple and yet it has great depth,

Luigi x

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Luigi, that's a very kind thing to say. When I'm working I can usually only make the time to write a couple of poems a week at the moment, in holidays I have been writing every day, but not sure that this has been such a good thing. I do ponder over them in a sense, I've keep whole lists of notes and thoughts (and chopped out pieces of things I've written and abandoned) and sometimes they form the basis for something and sometimes they just sit there! But either way, I suppose these are the things jostling about in my head that may or may not get written into a poem, and quite influenced by reading, lots of non-fiction mostly in between times. I suspect this is much the same as the process of others. I would like to not write and post quite as impulsively as I am less fearful now that one day I'll wake up and just not feel anything to write about as I used to be. Thanks for reading and your comment. Rachel x

 

Submitted by drew_gummerson on

Enjoyed the poem and the comments. I'm always interested how and when people write. Non-fiction books or articles? You obviously have a connection with birds, nature, and the imprint of history on both. 

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Drew, and for the cherries. So I have about 4 non-fiction books on the go; mountains, myths, history, a nature book, I am in the middle of the new Mantel novel, a book of short stories and Laurie's poems. I read a lot of articles and poems online as well as poems and some prose on here. I'm pretty sure that most of us have book piles that we're working through. And I like flitting between them. If I have an idea or like a word, I make a note of it. How and when do you write, Drew? And Luigi? I did ask on your story, Luigi, but you may not have answered me yet. Rachel x

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hello again Rachel.
I replied to your query about half an hour ago but lately I noticed that notications reach my inbox long after the comments itself. I don't know if it is a general problem.

Best, Luigi x

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Rachel,

I respect anyone who can write how they feel and know that whatever, it's special to them. Looking outside the box with the beauty of ambiguity, where metaphors matter. That is the true meaning of a poet.

Always keep writing no matter what.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Jenny, that's true, maybe that's the thing about all writing, however it comes out, is that it's brave to lay out your feelings and ideas regardless for another person to see. Would love to hear where you get your ideas from, though I do know that you feel most inspired under owl hoots and the moon now. Rachel :)

 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi again Rachel,

I'm a bit like you, I read a lot of books and I'm very much into fantasy, especially Terry Brooks, and have every book he's written...well! I think I have. He takes you into another world, a bit like J.R.R Tolkien's The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings.

I don't read poetry on line, apart from here at abc tales and another website, but I do have many poetry books at home. Like you I enjoy the obscure and especially the older poets.

I really have been inspired by your writing which has helped me look at poetry in a different way, and has bought back the excitement of using the imagination to take me places I'd never thought of before. So for that I thank you.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Thanks Jenny, that's a very happy thought. I am inspired by so much of the writing on here too. Rachel :)