Do svidaniya

By luigi_pagano

Tue, 05 May 2020

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So much has happened of late that I don't know what to relate first.

There have been good news, bad news and disastrous ones.

One that fell in the last category was the shocking discovery that Ali, my first lover, had gone to Idlib in north-western Syria, the last stronghold of the rebel and jihadist groups that have been trying to overthrow President Assad since 2011, to fight alongside them.

That put the kibosh to my plans and I may have to go back to the drawing board.

One thought that persistently worried me was that Gideon's intentions were more sinister than he let on. He would smile and wave at me from the bottom of the garden but his suggestive texts sometimes bordered on lechery.

I once saw him with a pair of binoculars and when I asked him what he was doing he replied: “Birdwatching” but I bet that the bird was me. I sensed that he was undressing me with his eyes.

I later found out that they were night vision binoculars and the realisation that he could have been watching me in the dark made my skin crawl.

I may not be a fully fledged detective but I have picked up a few tricks during my study of the art of espial. I have learnt what to do to recognise signs that intruders have entered my house during my absence, to commit burglary or snooping.

I take a thin piece of scotch tape about 2 inches long and put it on the door frame and the door itself. Then I cut it about 1/8 of the way through with scissors on both sides to make it easy to rip and also with the logic that if someone notices the tape after they open the door then they almost definitely would not replicate the cuts if they thought to replace the tape with another piece.

As I suspected that Gideon might be tempted to inspect my place to satisfy his curiosity I got into the habit of doing that when I went out jogging.

One day I hit the jackpot: on my return I noticed that the tape was broken.

He must have had a cursory look because my underwear drawer was untouched and I know that for sure otherwise he would have discovered my stash of johnnies which I hope to make use of before their sell-by date. They were hidden under my ( undisturbed) silk knickers.

The only thing he had messed with was the depilator which he left on a different speed setting to the one I set.

It made my blood boil and I decided that he would have to go and to hell with his sponsorship of my job application. I told him straight that I needed the chalet for myself and it was about time that he'd find alternative accommodation.

He went the following day, early in the morning, He left a note that said “Do svidaniya”, (until the next meeting).