A Gerl Clown

It’s great when yer mudder and fadder go off to a wedding or something and yer Auntie Alice comes to sit wit you and yer brudders because Auntie Alice is old and forgetful and lets you and yer brudders sit up all hours watching de TV.  And you don’t know what yer goin ta see on de TV in de middle of de night.  The Hitman and Her.  Prisoner Cell Block H.  De wrestling and de snoooker.  Jobfinder – whatever dat is.

Tonight we have a video on.  Enter the Dragon.  One of me brudders goes up to his bed about the time Bruce has his fight with O’Hara – when he kicks him and does the flip.  But I keep going.  De udder brudder has gone off to play de Commodore by de time Bruce is fighting Mr. Han in the hall of mirrors.  But I keep going.  It’s Bruce Lee after all. You have to keep going.  Even though I’ve watched it before.  And I’ll watch it again.  And again.  When Enter the Dragon is over, I start flipping through de channels.  Dere’s snoooker on:  Steve Davis, I tink.  And some American stuff: Donohue, I tink.  Boring.  Flip. 

                       Flip.        

                      Flip.

I must have nodded off because suddenly I wake up with a jump and de TV’s still going.  Bzzing away.

It’s late.  I look at de mantelpiece to check de clock but me eyes are too lazy after de sleep dat I can’t make it out clearly.  But when I luk at de TV screen, I can make out de face of a clown on it.  And it feels like I’m in a dream, maybe still sleeping, as dere’s a strangeness about de face.  It’s a black and white fillum in a foreign language that’s on.  I don’t much bodder wit de foreign fillums, but I sometimes watch black and white fillums.  I like Laurel and Hardy, de Marx Brudders, and Abbot and Costello.  Dey’re always on.  And dey’re always gud.

It’s de face of a gerl clown I’m lukin at, yes.  And I wish I was taping it so I cud pause it and luk at it in more detail because de face is so funny and sad and reminds me of udder faces I’ve seen – many of dem family members I never met, de faces in old photos.  De faces of people who are long long gone.  But connected to me in de whole layout of tings.

So I keep going. I keep watching de black and white fillum in a foreign language.

De gerl clown’s name is Gelsemina.  And she’s trying to live a fun and happy life.  She loves to entertain people.  But dere’s dis bastid called Zampano in it.  I tink I saw de actor in Treasure Island In Space when it was on.  Zampano’s a big moody bastid and he’s dead mean to Gelsemina.  I shud like him.  He’s a strong man.  Breaks chains wit his chest.  But nah.  I don’t like de cunt.  De way he treats Gelsemina.

Don’t tell annyone but I bawled me eyes out a few times.  Well, I didn’t bawl.  But I was definitely crying and rubbing de tears from me eyes.  Dat’s happened a few times watching fillums.  But yer not supposed to let on.  Neverending Story, of course.  The horse.  And when all the people were taken off the plane in The Delta Force.

I fall in love wit Gelsemina a few times during de fillum.  Fuck Grace Shevlin. She’s too old fur me anyhow.  I’ll have Gelsemina.

I want to watch dis fillum again.  And again.  Like Enter the Dragon.

I shud watch more a dese foreign fillums. Dese fillums wit gerl clowns in dem.

Annyway, time to go to bed.

A special shout-out to YOO Auntie Alice fur leading me to de gerl clown.

(I can hear her snoring away in de udder room, quiet, tiptoe up de stairs, goodnight Auntie Alice)

                                                                                                *

--Ah yeah, says Easy Weir, the best video man in de town.

He walks me down to de horrors and hands me de video of Stephen King’s IT. 

--No, not dat one, I say.

--Dere’s more here, he says, and he points out a bunch of udders: Killer Klowns, Out of the Dark, Funhouse, Clownhouse etc.

 --No no, I say.  It’s not a horror.  And de clown is a gerl clown.

--A gerl clown?  Oh, I don’t tink we have anny videos wit gerl clowns in here, son.  But I’ll keep me eyes peeled for ya.  And if I come across anny videos wit gerl clowns, I’ll let ya know.

--Tanks, Easy.