101

Cherry

By Rhiannonw

Tue, 25 Aug 2020
  • 1144 reads
10 comments
 

So different to last year’s birthday!
We havent met in person for 5 months.
How will she be?
We have to visit with masks (or shields).

Born 21/8/1919
We visit the (good) Care Home in their garden,
the gazebo for visits.
Wear masks (Will she understand? How much will she hear now?)
Social distancing (she reaches her hand out for me to hold)
– ‘We aren’t allowed to –’ Write  down ‘because of the virus’
‘Is it necessary?’
Acceptance.
‘Come near I can’t hear you.’ (We aren’t allowed to, sorry’)

We noted the closeness with the nurse who spent part of the time with us
– she’s happily having that hug and can touch and embrace
with those who are regularly with her,
and it does seem to meet the need.

Son has to remove mask momentarily so she can recognise him.
Conversation confused, vague, disjointed, but
indicating she’d been unhappy in the past, but more at peace now.*

Situation saved by grandson playing his violin
(twice ‘Happy Birthday’ and we were allowed to sing)
and then a medley, she gradually caught many of the tunes
and sang to herself happily –
‘All is safely gathered in ere the winter storms begin …’ etc
Other also having (difficult?) visits, and staff and residents
in the home enjoyed the strong, clear music.

We must try again soon,
ready with pen and paper, or electonic tablet to speak words into, large,
– and, hopefully, violin and its player!

* reminder of the change we noted in the last couple of years
https://www.abctales.com/story/rhiannonw/mask-melting-98
https://www.abctales.com/story/rhiannonw/new-normal-100-years

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Comments

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

How wonderful - we hear so many grim stories about care homes - it's nice to hear about one that seems so good

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, yes, they have been so dedicated, as a team – well led, presumable, and giving so much more when the residents couldn't have visitors. With Mum's hearing, we have relied dropping in very regular cards with big print, pictures, and a photo of us, to keep the contact, and we've been so surprised and thankful for how she's accepted, and that we could see at least on this visit. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Dear Rhiannon, 

I was near to tears as I read this, it must all feel so confusing for her, though it's good she's finding peace, but not being able to hug or come close is the biggest obstacle. Thank goodness the staff are understanding and show they care enough to show concern, but it can't help you and your husband who must feel as lost as I do at present.

Big hugs go out to you at this time Rhiannon. Happy Birthday to your mum who has reached an amazing age.

Take care,

Jenny. xx

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Jenny. I think my husband was basically encouraged by the visit and seeing her happy and at peace with the situation, and at such good terms with the kind staff. I found it more difficult as I'm the one who has been more 'touchy, feely', so it was good to see her closeness with the staff. Interestingly, while she lived here, I never felt she wanted hugs, - I think a relic of past where she had closed in on herself, but when she went to the Care Home, I tried giving hugs anyway, and found she was delighted, just hadn't been able to 'send our the vibes'! and she opened up in other ways too, as I related before. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you for cherries for Gran, 101!! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Nolan on

It is terribly sad Rhiannon,

"Wear masks (Will she understand? How much will she hear now?)
Social distancing (she reaches her hand out for me to hold)
– ‘We aren’t allowed to –’ Write  down ‘because of the virus’
‘Is it necessary?"

At the end, the one thing you want, the one thing you need, you can't have. It was similar with our passed mother, this was before covid even.

101 x X! = X! X! X! .. . .. .

Nolan

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for your understanding, Nolan.

But we couldn't see how she would accept not seeing us (when lockdown happened), but she did and seemed to accept somehow our big-print letters with our photo on as seeing us and knowing we did still care. And now though wanting to be near and touch, she did seem content and accepting somehow, and the nurses did seem to be supplying that needed 'touch'. So we can but thank God for all that, and also that in the last few years before Covid she had opened up both in sharing and hugging with us, and seemed to also have more sure faith and peace with God. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Nolan on

Have you thought of giving her a teddybear? Actually for real, not joking, they should give me one one day. Could be anytime too you never know.

xx Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

She used to collect teddy bears, and we have taken a number of them in from time to time, and she loved it if we got them out, but she seemed a bit paranoid about them getting lost or taken and would usually ask someone to put them up on the shelf, and forget about asking for them down again.

However we did have a lovely incident Christmas time which I recorded here
https://www.abctales.com/story/rhiannonw/new-life-hot-water-bottle-cover

I don't know what has happened since lockdown, but she was famous in the home as loving giving this 'ugly little dog' (which had orifginally been someone's 'hot water bottle cover!) a cuddle! Thank you, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Nolan on

Good! Cheers! See you later alligator!