Zombie Apocalypse

“Mr. Shy T. Wolf, have you got an update on homeland security?”

“Yes, Mr. President, Sir.”

“Should we be afraid of being invaded by those pesky commies from Russia, China or North Korea?”

“Negative, Mr. President, Sir.”

“Have they been sectioned, as I instructed?”

“Affirmative, Mr. President and sanctioned is the word you are looking for.”

“Any threats fermenting in the Middle Yeast?”

“No Sir, everything is flat as a pancake over there. The danger is nearer home: we have bats in the belfry and they create havoc with the smooth running of the country.”

“But that's crazy. Is there anything we can do?”

“Yes, Mr. President. You don't have to worry for much longer as we are in the process of having new contractors and hope to have a new and more efficient administration to clear up the mess.”

“So we are safe from further attacks?”

“Negative, Sir. There have been early warning signs that an outbreak of zombies is expected.”

“Zombies?”

“Yessir! They are creatures that come back from the dead; their infections can seriously undermine national securities and economic activities.”

“Goddammit, man, do you mean that men are rising from their graves and want to harm us?”

“Not only humans but animals too. Chicken zombies have actually been proved to exist: they are the ones that have been euthanised with Carbon dioxide and placed inside sealed chambers from which they claw their way out. They could have been responsible for the current epidemic.”

"Had they been chlorinated?"

"Negative, sir!"

“Strewth! So we are doomed?”

“Negative, Mr. President. We are always prepared for the defense of the country and the Pentagon has produced a plan - CONOP 8888 - that will be used to train our military personnel in how to deal with this enemy but it is highly secret so as not to panic the civilian population.”

“Good thinking man. I know that now I can sleep soundly without worrying.”
 
© Luigi Pagano 2020