They burnt my barn and stole my horse

Some people solve their problems by burning

and stealing. I solve my problems by hoping

everything will be different one day.

I’ve never been good at articulating my thoughts,

there are few better forms of communication

than setting fire to things; rucksacks, letters

and allotments. I miss spending time with you

and hearing about your incoming vegetables.

When you break up with someone who has a dog

you miss throwing tennis balls. I’ve always loved

throwing things. I have a natural arm action

that means I can effortlessly skim stones across lakes  

it’s something I’ve always been proud of

and yet another thing that isn’t impressive

to any other human being.

The last time I had a haircut I had three compliments

which is my best yet. I told my doctor

I’ve been feeling down, that I wouldn’t normally see

a GP about this kind of thing, but it's showing

no signs of stopping. She said I should give her sister

a call, we’d get on well, that she’s been feeling the same,

and she’d love someone to watch her play football,

lift their arms in the air when she scores a goal, to be

someone to introduce her teammates to.