Sleeping With The Moon

By mcscraic

Thu, 10 Nov 2022
  • 519 reads
4 comments
 

Sleeping With The Moon

By Paul McCann

 

 

Hello Mr Moonshine it’s nice to be with you, I’m sitting here all by myself with nothing

else to do , I’m so drunk on moonshine  , I can’t tell left from right , but as long as

you here with me , I think I’ll stay all night .

 

Sleeping with the moon , shine your light for the new day  

under a dark night sky , where all my dreams can float away .

into the realm where dreamers go , I escape to ,

the universe around us and with the moonlight shinning through  .

 

 

I look at the night and you seem so far away

as my thoughts drift into space about life on earth today.

there are some who say to me , I’m wasting my time  

get back to reality cause you’re getting left behind .

 

They’re always trying to steal the moonshine away

so if you don’t mind I’ll like to spent some time here with you .

Some mighty think I’m crazy but they don’t understand

How it feels to sing a song with a guitar in my hand  ;

 

Singing in the spotlight of the moon , please shine on

Under the big night sky until the new dawn comes along.

Mr Moonshine I’m in your company  tonight

Sleeping with the moon and everything just  feels so right .

 

.

Certificate 12
Poem
poemsbypaulmccann
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by Ciadish on

This is poignant but somehow uplifting too. I particularly like the first line of the second verse - simple but clever. I could totally imagine this as a song - did you create it as lyrics (I thought you might have as you mention singing a song with a guitar in your hand, and it's posted in Lyrical. Call me Sherlock ;-))? If so, I'd love to hear the music too.

BTW, the rhyme scheme doesn't match on the first 2 lines of the penulimate verse - is that deliberate? I thought it might have slipped through as every other two line pair rhymes. "So if you don’t mind, I'd like to have just one more day" could work, perhaps?

 

Submitted by mcscraic on

Firstly thank you for making time to read and taking the time to write such a deep understanding of this piece . It was written as a song and as you know sometimes poems can't be sung like a song and rewrites assist the performance of singing a song . As you very rightly commented I changed the structure a little in the second verse as in the song thus verse is actually the chorus and I wanted to have a melodic hook that is different to the verses . You really are amazing how you were able to focus in on that difference . 

Secondly thank you for the links you provided at the end of your comment . I will check those out .

In summing up I am honoured that you left me such a interesting comment .

Knnd regards 

Paul 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I'm with you here Paul. The moon has been very bright where I live, creating something pretty magical and special. I just wish more people could see and hear the natural world around us.  I hope you have many happy hours with your guitar making music and singing by the light of the silvery moon.

Very much enjoyed reading.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by mcscraic on

Thank you for the positive comment . I take every chance I get to write and compose .

The moon is just wonderful at the moment .

Inspiring in its wonder .

Kind regards 

Paul