Skinwalker

Chapter 1: 

I feel as though I am walking in a body that I do not own, as though it is not my own. I revel in how many hands I have let graze and steal parts of myself that I will never get back. I have allowed pieces of me to be ripped away and stolen by those before me, those I allowed so easily to do so. 

Happening so often that with every piece unmindfully stolen, I was lost within them. Dissected like a dead lab animal, I allowed everyone to see my inner making and the way my heart beat. I was watched as I was being cut open by those around me, all for the simple reason of entertainment.

These pieces, these pieces that make me a person. These peculiar pieces that allow me to grow and develop have been stolen, stunting my growth. Every gaping hole inside me is being replaced with worthlessness and anger. Anger for only myself who has allowed others to pick what they want from me so choosingly. 

The emptiness that has spread throughout my blood and has carried its way through my veins and to my heart. My heart is beating so softly, leaving my brain working so hard to keep it beating. Blood seeps from my body, leaving me empty and drained. 

 Judged. Abused. Raped. Misunderstood. 

Every empty and unwilling hole left in my body has left me searching. Searching for my soul to come back to me once again. The soul that those loved so deeply, that is no longer found. The soul that knew how to love, care and cherish everything given to me. The soul that was slowly pulled apart and taken advantage of by the selfishness of humans. 

I wasn’t always like this, you know.

I used to be that girl that when I walked into a room it lit up, or so I was told. Now I think when I walk into a room it dims.

I grew up with a narcissist, but was too young to notice because I was too “pure” or whatever. I never knew how much that would prepare me for my future.