May 4th (chapter 1 part 2)

A couple of months passed by, David enjoying his friends, enjoying the parties and get-togethers. It was all down to the cider. Sean, another one of David’s close friends, announced one night in early July that David turned thirty-three years old on the 9^th. Eoin went into full planning mode instantly. David knew he was plotting something, but he had only four days to organise it. David didn’t sleep properly for those four nights. He was anticipating a party.

When the 9^th rolled in, David got up and checked his Facebook page and answered some emails. Eoin rang at noon to wish him happy birthday and tell him to wear a nice suit to dinner. David knew that Eoin was a legend at throwing parties! He always had a theme and that particular Saturday the 9^th of July 2011 was James Bond. David was looking forward to this one. He was told to be at Chaplain Place for 8pm. He wasn’t sure what kind of establishment it was, but when he hopped in the shower at 6:30, after washing every single window in his house, inside and out, he knew that anything would be a good distraction from the fact he was thirty-three…and single.

David arrived at the destination only to find that it was a strip club. He exited the taxi and shook his head, a tiny grimace on his face. He was literally about to walk into a place where women make a holy show out of each other for money. He took out his phone, and just as he was about to dial the number of the taxi company he used to go home again, Eoin spotted him. He grabbed David by the arm and pulled him towards the bouncer.

‘Birthday boy!’ Eoin said to the very muscular, well-built man, who simply opened the door and let them in. Eoin had an area cordoned off, a pole in the middle, and asked David did he bring any money. David rolled his eyes and shook his head out of disgust. ‘Well don’t you worry Davey boy, I have a nice one picked especially for you!’ David went puce out of anger and embarrassment. The second he sat down on the red, leather covered seats, bile filled his mouth. He gulped it down however, alongside a shot of tequila. This was a night he knew that tequila would be graciously accepted. A tray was delivered to the booth at the same time Crystal showed up with a smile and not much else. David drank all eight shots, hoping alcohol poisoning would get him out of the situation he didn’t want any part of.

After mere minutes of trying to avoid watching Crystal on the stripper pole, the tequila kicked in, making the bouncer kick David out after the projectile vomited all over the girl. Of course, someone had to go with him, and Eoin, being the party planner, insisted on being the one to do so.

The next morning, David woke up to yet another stranger in his bed. This time however, when he moved his head to see who it was, she was staring at him, wide eyed. He jumped and felt nauseous. ‘You do know it’s €400 for the night, right?’ the woman smiled. The cogs in David’s head began to quickly turn. He had just slept with a prostitute! Just the thought made him jump out of the bed and run into the ensuite to vomit. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist and located his wallet. There was only €300 in it! ‘What am I going to do?’ David asked himself. He saw his phone sitting there on the bedside locker and asked, ‘would €300 and a brand-new iPhone 4 do?’ He had no other option! She graciously accepted and got dressed and left without having to be asked. At least David had the good sense to take out his sim card first and restore the phone to factory settings so the hooker wouldn’t get his numbers or have access to any of his information.

With fury in his eyes, and fire in his belly, David screamed, ‘aaaaaggghhhhh! Eoin I’m going to kill you!’ After he changed the bed sheets and showered, he went out to buy a new phone. Having asked the tech guy to set it up in the shop, he went straight into the parking lot to ring Eoin. ‘What the fuck man?’ he asked. ‘Did you enjoy your birthday?’ Eoin replied. ‘Eh, no!’ David said with disdain. He was disgusted that his best friend in the whole world would think he would ‘enjoy’ a prostitute! He felt nauseous but kept shouting expletives down the phone. ‘That’s it man, we’re through!’ he said when he had gotten the repulsion he felt out and hung up!

David got into his car and logged into WhatsApp. He went into the group chat and asked if anyone knew what Eoin was up to. He got some question marks and a few asking, ‘no, what did he do?’ The whole gang was flabbergasted. He knew then that Eoin had the capability of being malicious, and made a mental note to be wary in the future!

That Friday night, David organised to meet with his friends in the local pub for some cider…and only cider! He wanted to talk to them about Eoin and his inappropriateness. When he entered the bar, he saw that there was a section cordoned off with balloons and a big ‘happy 30^th birthday’ sign on the wall. He saw that the rest of the bar was packed and looked around for some of the guys. Sean, Brian and Francis had already arrived and were lucky to be in a booth. David didn’t think he could have had the conversation without them all sitting around a table in case there was someone ease dropping on them.

They were obviously eager to hear as to why David asked them to come and, ‘not breathe a word about it to Eoin!’ as per the instructions in the text.  ‘Well?’ Brian asked, his brow lifted expectantly as David sat down. ‘I’ll tell ye know when Conor arrives,’ David responded to the three confused faces in front of him. ‘Oh, he’s at the bar!’ Sean informed him. David sighed with relief and took off his blue denim jacket, revealing a lovely checkered blue shirt. Just as he draped his coat on the back of the high, leather, intimate booth seat, there was Conor with the drinks, all five of them on a tray. David let out an audible sound of relief when he saw the pint glasses, not a shot glass in sight!

David got out of his seat to let Conor back into his. When he sat down again, he was mindful that he was facing the front door. He was on edge, even though there was no need to be, and kept looking up, expecting to see Eoin walk in.

After each of them reached for a glass and took a gulp of their drinks, Conor pleaded, ‘don’t keep us hanging here bro!’ David looked at all four of his best friends in turn and then nodded to himself…it was time!

‘I’ve gathered us all here today to talk about Eoin, and his inappropriateness.’ He saw each of them nod as they nursed their pints. ‘Were ye aware that when he took me home the night of my birthday, he left me there with a hooker?’ Their faces were all looking confused. ‘Really?’ asked Brian. ‘Yea,’ David continued, ‘but not only that…he didn’t pay her, and she was wanting €400 for the night! I only had €300, and had to give her my iPhone as well!’ Even though the bar was buzzing, the booth was silent and full of open mouths. ‘And that’s not the first time I’ve woken to a stranger in my bed because of him!’ David lowered his head in shame. ‘We knew about the others, and how he had matched ye, but never a hooker!’ Sean voiced regret in his tone. ‘Look, it is what it is!’ David shrugged his shoulders. ‘Just because he doesn’t want to settle down and get married and have kids, is on him. So why is he torturing me?’ he asked with a raspy voice and took another sip of his pint.

As he felt all four faces stare at him in pity, a vision walked through the door! This woman, whoever she was, entered with a bunch of her girlfriends, but David could see a bright light shine off her skin in particular. He heard the sound of angels singing in his ears, his jaw on the floor. He had never seen a woman as beautiful as her before. He craned his neck and squinted to make sure she wasn’t a stick insect who was just out for sex. On the contrary, she was the one in the ’30 today’ sash…she was the birthday girl! David yearned to go over and introduce himself because in that moment in time, she looked like a princess, and the only other person in the room. He had tunnel vision and it was as though she was moving in slow motion. Brian hit him, and not for the first time, before David could pick his jaw up from the floorboards, shake his head like a wet dog and ask, ‘what was I saying?’