My Verbal Diary Here

Cherry

By Turlough

Sun, 12 Nov 2023
  • 1855 reads
19 comments
 

 

Dear Diary

 

Describing life can be real tough

And sometimes you weren't big enough

In which to write my thrilling stuff

And secrets like my bit of fluff

 

Years later I look back to see

The fun things that went on for me

Were nineteen eighty-two and three

Just pubs, hot love and ribaldry?

 

Those attempts to record a golden age

On paper, one week to a page

The length of words a bitch to gauge

Would drive me daily into a rage

 

Each January I'd set out committed

To ensure that each night I submitted

A passage that events befitted

But some things sadly were omitted

 

Noteworthy moments didn't fit

So now I'll try catch up a bit

Like Leeds United thrashing Villa

And surprise surprise, I once met Cilla

Iceland fished more than its quota

I bought a rusty old Toyota

Julia's birthday, September first

Findus frozen currywurst

Flooding in the Mekong Delta

A fat arse stuck in a helter-skelter

Michael Foot's misunderstood

Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Russians in Afghanistan

A bunch of freesias for my Nan

Waking up in Barking station

My worst ever case of dehydration

For these events there was no place

Dear diary you're an absolute disgrace

 

#####

 

It's your diary here

 

There wasn't the space

We both have regrets

But let's not blame me

Instead let's blame Letts

 

#####

 

Dear Dairy

 

An extra pinta, creamy gold top

And if you'll do us a big favour

Two small pots of yoghurt please

That fruity strawberry flavour

 

Image:

Every image I use is from a photograph I have taken myself. 

On this occasion – The top right hand corner of my 1985 Letts pocket diary.

Certificate 15
Poem
Poetry in Commotion
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

Lots of memories here. fat arses and fiindus. leeds thrashing villa. those were the days. 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thanks very much. You've made me feel like I'm the new Mary Hopkin.

Turlough

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Turlough,

I loved every word of your dear diary entries, but especially the first four stanzas which I could relate to.  

A fat arse stuck in a helter-skelter...now that was funny to imagine, but probably not for you at the time.

Thank you for putting a smile on my face Turlough. smiley

Jenny.

 

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Hello Jenny and thanks for your reading and commenting.

The fat arse in the helter-skelter, by the way, wasn't mine. Nor did it belong to anybody who I know.

It was the fat arse of a total stranger who had got stuck and the only problem I had was in trying not to let him see me staring and laughing. Sometimes I think I'm not very nice... but it was very funny!

I hope you're jogging along now on the road to recovery.

 

 

Turlough

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

So clever and fun. So much of what is mentioned is relatable. 'My worst ever case of dehydration,' yes been there. Frankie Goes to Hollywood, I've always wondered where Holly Johnson got his confidence, he was so young and pushing hard on the boundaries of the time.

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Frankie Goes To Hollywood were totally not my kind of music but I loved them. Their 'Two Tribes' track fitted in so well with what was going on at the time. They even made a few old duffle coats at our CND group tap their feet.

Rattling on to where I am now and every old song is a memory preserved in my head far better than I could ever have done it on paper.

Thank you very much indeed for your comment. Always appreciated.

Turlough

Submitted by monodemo on

that was so enjoyable turlough. i love the way in which it flows. youve got my vote that you deserved that cherry!

mono

Submitted by Turlough on

Thank you very much for your kind words Mono. 

Turlough

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

you should set this to music Ian Drury stylee - well deserved cherries Turlough!

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Thank you!

Good idea!

The cherries are my reasons to be cheerful.

Turlough

Submitted by marandina on

"Like Leeds United thrashing Villa.."

I can't recall this event. Just how far are we going back?!

I thought this was going to be your diary entry from your blog post for some reason. Anyway, I enjoyed this too (13 league wins at home on the spin for mighty Villa. Just sayin')

 

Submitted by Turlough on

Ah now Paul, I've been a Leeds fan since the days when football was all about kicking a pig's bum up and down the high street on Pancake Tuesday, in which time we've had our moments.

I'm glad Villa are doing well but you should make the most of what you have now because we're on our way back... again!

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I love the wide variety of entries, such a vibrant mosaic of memories!

"Flooding in the Mekong Delta

A fat arse stuck in a helter-skelter

Michael Foot's misunderstood

Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Russians in Afghanistan

A bunch of freesias for my Nan"

wonderful!

 

Submitted by Turlough on

It's amazing when I sit down and think about it, how real life events rhyme. If Russia had invaded Iraq in the 1980s instead of Afghanistan my poem would have been ruined.

Thank you very much Di for reading my writing and for your nice comment.

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou for making me smile all over again :0)

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I was sorry to read about your son Di. Illnesses are terrible things but even more so when it's one of your own family that's suffering. I really hope he's feeling better and on the mend soon. 

 

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

Thankyou Terry :0) You are kind! He got pneumonia, because of the covid, and it has really knocked him back. Thank goodness his college is on a break this week or he'd be off 3 weeks. Am not even sure he will be ok to go back next week, am so scared he will collapse on the mainland somewhere. I hope all your loved ones are well

 

Submitted by Turlough on

I've often wondered but my guesswork suggests that you're living on a Scottish island. I've visited a few and they've all been gorgeous and overwhelmingly friendly. I expect yours is the same. Jura was probably my favourite.

But your son's college is on the mainland. Does he stay on the mainland for a whole college term or is he able to get home on a daily or weekly basis? In any case I can see the cause for worry. Perhaps you should tie him to the bed until he's completely recovered. 

But seriously I hope his health improves quickly and any setbacks with his education are limited and easily caught up.

My lot are all grand, thank you. They get a few sniffles and minor illnesses brought home from nursery school by the grandchildren but generally there's nothing to complain about.

Keep well yourself Di.

Turlough

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I didn't mean to clog up comments for your brilliant, funny poem with stuff about us, I am sorry! He has to travel in, but it's only 3 days a week. Good guesswork :0) Glad you are all well :0)