Ulf and Sven at Christmas

Sven: (offstage) "Ulf. Ulf."

(enter Sven)

Sven: “Happy Christmas, Ulf.” Takes out a present from behind his back. “Look, Santa has been.”

Ulf; unwraps present.  “Ulaf Golenski’s Viking trilogy: Invasion of the Vikings, Pilaging of the Vikings and The Vikings Go Bananas. Thank you Ulf, though I’m afraid Santa has brought you nothing this year.”

Sven: “Oh.”

Ulf: “No Sven, we don’t follow the Santa religion. We don’t worship babies sleeping in barns. We worship Viking Gods; Odin, Thor and Frey. But I have bought you a present though.”

Sven: “You have?”

Ulf hands Sven a present

Sven: “Thank you Ulf. The wrapping paper is Santa’s reindeer.”

Ulf: “They didn’t have Viking wrapping paper.”

Sven: “What is it Ulf?”

Ulf: “£24.99 from Argos.”

Sven “£24.99 from Argos?”

Sven opens present.

Sven: “The complete Viking kit. Viking helmet, sword, cloak, drinking horn and Viking belt. Fantastic Ulf, thank you. Let me dress up in my new outfit and let’s go out pillaging.”

Ulf: “No Sven, I don’t have a £24.99 Argos complete Viking kit. I’ll look silly with you in Viking helmet, cloak, belt and sword and myself wearing jeans and T-shirt. Let’s stay in and watch Ulaf Golenski’s Viking trilogy.”

Sven: “Okay, but I’ll change into my outfit all the same.  Merry Christmas, Ulf.”

Ulf: “Merry Christmas, Sven.”