Undercover Agent 1

“Armed police,” someone shouted, and a dozen or more armed officers stormed into the room.

They surrounded the table, at which Linton and Hilya were sitting, talking, doing nothing. They merely shrugged at the police’s arrival.

“Check the rest of the house,” ordered the only plain clothed officer and consequently the one in charge, to a couple of cops. They hared away. The officer turned to Linton and Hilya.

“Anything you’d like to say?”

“Oh, were you looking for us, Denton?” said Linton. “I’ve no idea why you’re here. Feel free to search the house if you’d like to, you won't find anything here.”

“And what were you talking about with one of the most notorious jewel thieves in the country the day after a £35 million jewel robbery?”

“We were talking about the weather,” said Hilya “I was informing Linton here that a cold front is sweeping across the country from the west, bringing with it heavy rain, occasional thunderstorms and strong winds.”

Hilya leant across the table and looked Denton close in the eye. “I would strongly advise you to stay indoors unless essential. The winds could be potentially hazardous.“

“Yeah, that’s right," confirmed Linton. "We was talking about the weather. I’d like to see you prove otherwise. I swept for bugs before the meeting, so I know you’ve got nothing on me.”

It was at that point that Denton turned his attention to me. “And what do you have to say?” he asked.  I said nothing.

Denton reached in his pocket and took out a packet of seed cake. He handed me a piece.

“Would you like some seed cake?” he said.

“Polly like seed cake,” I said, and took a bite. It was delicious, the best seed cake I’ve ever had. It was clearly a higher quality than the seed mixes I was used to, probably very expensive. What was a copper doing with a pocket full of expensive seed cake? I’ll never know, did he know in advance that I would be there? Was I always part of the plan, or did he really always walk around with a pocket full of top-grade seed cake just in case.

I puffled my feathers. A puffle is like the human word for ruffle, except that I blow air into my feathers as I ruffle them, to puff them up for greater buoyancy.

“Polly like that?” Denton asked.

I kept silent, but was perched, waiting for more.  He duly held out another piece, but withdrew it as my beak reached out.

“What does Polly have for me in return?” he said. Not waiting for an answer he let me peck the seed cake, then took out another piece, which he held even further away from me.

“Are you one of those parrots that repeats everything they hear?” he asked.

“Parrot repeats everything they hear,” I said, thus earning another piece of seedcake.

“Clever parrot,” Denton said. “I think you know where the loot is being stored, you’re the sort of parrot that notices these things.  Could you repeat.”  He held out another piece of seed cake.

“Unit 3, Orwell Wharf, 17 Canal Passage. Can't miss it, it's got a bloody great blue door.”

“Well done Polly, you’ve got a good set of ears.” He fed me another piece of seed cake, then turned to his colleagues. “Jones, Gibson, Waterford check out the address.”

Turning to Linton and Hilya he said. “Well, well, this changes everything. Seems like you should have swept for parrots as well as bugs.”

“That doesn’t help you,” said Linton unconvincingly. “You can’t use a parrot as evidence in court.”

“I don’t need to use the parrot in court. Now I have the address  we’ll search it and find the loot. If you’ve been really careful and really lucky we won’t find anything to connect you and you’ll have only lost your booty. But if there’s anything to connect you, print, DNA, CCTV footage, we’ll find it.”

Linton and Hilya regarded each other, but said nothing.

“That’s why pirates went out of business in the eighteenth century, said Denton “Their parrots were used in evidence against them."

“Really inspector? I thought it was the widespread use of heavily armed frigates.”

“Save it for the judge, Hilya.  Take them away boys.”

As the two men were marched away, Denton approached me, feeding me more seedcake.

“And what are we going to do with you, Polly?” he said. “You’re going to need a new home now.”