Meateater

I love flesh it is quite lovely and no creature is above me
I'll eat rat and suckling pig with equal joy
It's a habit I've acquired since the day when I grew tired
And then choked on cauliflower as a boy,
Green vegetables annoy me and the thought of them destroys me
All my meals are full of protein have no doubt
Every mouthful that I've swallowed is an animal I've borrowed
And I'll wash them down with good old fashioned stout,
I eat octopus for breakfast 'cos it really is the bestest
And I like to dip the suckers my egg
Some people eat rice crispies and although they are quite nifty
I prefer to start my day with food with legs,
To remind me I'm fantastic squids are stretchy as elastic
So I like to take them with me to my work
I eat them at eleven with a snake that's now in heaven
And I have a owl-head as an extra perk,
No wheatgerm crispy-crackers just a plate of bulldog knackers
Is the luncheon I'm a crunchin' come midday
With a sauce of liquid pigeon and some mustard - just a smidgeon
I'll be satisfied 'til teatime all the way.
Five o'clock comes looming and I stop the jockey grooming
Then I munch upon his horse with all my might
I suck upon the sinews then I'll laugh as I continue
While my jockey cries that I dont have the right.
Dinner time's amazing cos I stop the cattle grazing
With a spotlight that I sweep across the dark
I'll bite into their udders though the teats all taste of rubber
Then for afters I'll have ice-cream made from shark.
No vegetables will make it through my door cos I wont fake it
I'm a carnivore and proud to wear the hat;
So stop your putrid wining it's impinging on my dining
Please just help yourself - and can you pass the cat?