Jude's addiction

I'm addicted to my own heartbeat
Pulsing silently on
Golgotha

Travel forward to the past
Seek elusive throb
Discover
If death can break bread
If there is an avenue

Capricious, my sins
Nailed to timber, cruel.

Lying, freezing footed on a cotton cold bed
Jacked up lust exciting,
Pretending to be dead.
an uncertain bubble escapes
The glass that holds
Codeine buzz, euphoria,
"propter magnam gloriam
tuam"?

The dream I write unfolds.