Little Polar bear

It was smoking cold, you know the kind of day where even the die
hard joggers refusing to give in to the weather appeared to be exhaling
nicotine tainted breath as they flailed on the icy path, but the tiny
polar bear strapped to my chest kept my blood pumping warm. The bear in
question, was my three-week-old nephew dressed wisely in a large, white
wooly outfit with ears and an embroidered bear-face on the hood - it
was adorable. Why don't they make clothes for adults with all-in-one
shoes? I knew that he was warm and after about 10 minutes of walking
(and the occasional bit of "as in tune as you can get at 7:30am on a
Sunday morning" singing), he had begun to make the sweetest
sleepy-gurgling sounds.

Having him there - tightly strapped to my chest, for the first time in
my life I felt responsible for something. Truly responsible. Not just
following through on a promise, or taking charge of something at work -
this was not something I could stop for anything. I wouldn't be able to
unplug the phone any more, incase this little one needs me. I couldn't
call in sick or say "I just can't handle it today, leave me alone".
This was real and this was permanent, full time and full on.

And never before have I felt so real.

As I looked around at the frozen, yet still living trees, my
environment and the beauty around me took on new meaning. I never
really cared about the environment before. Of course I did my bit,
recycled my plastic and returned my bottles. I even gave some clothes
to charity once - when they made it so easy for me to do so. But my
polar bear should only see the best things, smell the sweetest scents
and feel the freshest air on his face. I understand now why I must not
only do my bit, but do others for them and try to compensate for people
like I used to be.

His breath is so soft, against my chest. At one time, so silent, that I
panic and I gently stir him until he wrinkles up his face and settles
again in another position. He's breathing thank god. So fragile is he,
so helpless and dependent it shocks me into a state of paranoia. How
important he is, how important it is that I must show him the best
things in life - and protect him from harm.

Life will never be the same. Thank you, my little polar bear.