B Alice, I'm Tired

Alice, I'm tired

I am tired yet I am not
What troubles me tonight?
I forget or I've forgot
But I am tired and I am not

Relaxation is for the special few
Whose brain in neutral purrs
Comfy wrapped in furs
From all that's real it lures

I sit here tired yet wide awake
Why do I sit here?
I must lay down for goodness sake
But I still sit here wide awake

Drifting is for the contented mind
With auto pilot set
But I'm not ready yet
My mind just wont forget

I am racing down straights and into bends
Brain razor sharp alert
Whose messages I can't comprehend
Vital message it forgot to send

I ache to sleep but sit propped up
He whom the sleep dust brings
Is doing other things
I listen as the clock strike rings

I try to lie yet I do not
I fidget alert alive
Conscious one two three four five
Outside, drivers drive

Thoughts flood my head
Nonsense people said
Misconstrued or half read
It cuts, I feel I've bled

Turning over pointless themes
Looking to get out
Resolve and banish doubt
But Alice is about

Alice comes from Wonderland
Grinning keen to play
Rabbit hole's this way
Oh Alice, go away

She shows you scenes long hidden
From deep subconscious bidden
Feelings best kept the lid on
Await revelations at silly mid on

I stand perplexed out in the field
At each projectile thought my bat I wield
Old embarrassments better left sealed
Caught out by recall but not appealed

Nagging doubts and missed chances
Revolve but only reveal glances
Never enough to grasp before away it dances
Leaving a disquiet tension only enhances

I am tired yet I am not
I sit awake yet fit to drop
My racing psyche will not stop
Whipped like a perpetual spinning top

Exhaustion finally bring slumber
A shallow form of fitful sleep
Light and not too deep
Exhausted in a heap

The only knowledge part revealed
Is your whole life's thoughts are sealed
Not always to remain concealed
As layer after layer peeled

And you look direct in memories face
Of times you thought long left this place
Glimpsed through recalls curtains lace
At people who have left a trace

Alice leads to old resorts
Where you don't want to go
But you can't say no
What you reap you sow