Vorever

summer
lies locked
in a zebra print frame
on my lonely desk
our feet are bare and sandy
your arms are wrapped around me
the silver liquid sea behind us
is pregnant with our laughter
that echoes in the breeze
you're kissing my cheek
and I'm laughing straight at the camera
a smile I've never seen before
you slip on the blue flip flops
we'd wear walking on the moon
staring at the sun, you burnt your stomach
I burnt my nose

at 2 am we'd dig our heels
into the cool sand and sing
Jimi, Lenny, Frank and Piath
till we'd wake the whole village up
and the neighbours called your parents
we were so happy

on my lonely desk
colourful candles, postcards, photos and sea shells
lie cluttered in a feeble attempt
to bring you back again
I reach out to your photograph
to keep the thread of your memory
tangled in my fingers

that moment was so beautiful
I smiled like never before
we ate crabmeat with mayonnaise
watched 'Usual Suspects'
and kept rewinding back to Finster's scenes
I read The Map Of Love
you read Stephen King
I tried to block out
your persistent whining
by turning the walkman up

we laughed ourselves sick
under the stars
I canoed out to the island
you played beachvolley
we chewed on Danny Boy apples
made eyes at the supermarket guy
you helped me cut my hair
I learned how to breathe again
I miss your whining

now I slip on the blue flipflops
to bring back the feel of the sand
between my toes
when I crept into your house at 5 am
after a sunrise swim in a liquid silver sea
it was so beautiful
I smiled like never before
and now
as hard as I try
I can't smile like that again