Touching On Venus

TOUCHING ON VENUS

Ever since I was a little girl I always thought when people die they
became stars in the sky. When the stars twinkled it meant they were
waving to you.

My Nan died when I was very young and my Mum always had us believe that
the brightest star in the sky was our Nan, the star which was all on
its own with no other visible star around it. We were told the star was
alone so we could find her easily.

At the time I didn't realise the star my Mum was associating Nan with
was Venus.

So many times I can remember being in my parent's car and waving out of
the back window at the star we called Nannies star only to find the
people in the car behind us waving. Of course they thought we were
waving to them, but they didn't know about my star, the true object I
was waving to.

So many times I can remember being in my bedroom at night and looking
up at the star, I would sometimes fall asleep at the window sill until
my parents found me and put me back to bed.

Seeing the star or should I say Venus in the sky used to always fill us
with happiness and laughter. The star did not stop twinkling and we
used to complain of our arms aching for all of the waving we did. In
our child innocence we used to ask the star to stop twinkling so we
could stop waving. When the star didn't stop twinkling so we would
laugh as we thought we were being wound up.

I know I am still calling it a star but this is what I always believed
it to be.

Now that I'm older I still follow the star. I often find myself talking
to the star.

If I'm out walking alone I follow the star home like the three wise men
followed their star to Bethlehem and I know that anytime I need
reassurance or just company I know my star will always be there. All I
have to do is reach out my hand and begin touching on Venus and my Nan
will respond. There I called the star by its true name Venus. But no
matter what the star is called, to me it will always be my Nannies star, no
planet. Just my Nan.

If I spent the rest of my life not believing in something I once did. I
would not believe in what I believed in today. And that is the people
we miss so much still being with us when we need it the most before and
after death.

Touching on Venus is what I will do until I become a star myself.