Felicity meets a pirate

"Ahoy matey, grab a load of that". Captain Jake Glans was
nothing if not direct. He deftly unbuttoned his breeches and freed his
salty old sea dog. Felicity gave it a quick once over. Good size, nice
shape, no sign of disease or pox. She was impressed. The captain had
been at sea for six months, holed up with 78 other men, all of
whom were randier than a convention of Greek waiters.
Yet the captain had clearly not abused his position's rights. She
could categorically say that he had not bummed any of his crew,
and for that she was glad.

"Ah, ah ha". He continued
to make ridiculous 'ah ha' noises. Still, she wondered if indeed
her landloathing companion might prove yet to be a sensitive lover. The
sudden appearance of his testicles at her mouth soon dispelled that
conjecture. 

She swatted him at his most
vulnerable point. "Now you listen to me" She stood and shoved him back
a step."I'm not a spoil with which you can do whatever you want". The
captain grinned long enough to feel it smacked from his face.