Happiness

this subject isn't easy
but its something i possess
maybe you don't believe me
my poems write me as a mess
always love and death?
you never can look deeper
the meaning is more winding
their the dreams of this day sleeper
i've always been a thinker
i can't just let things go
i can't hide them in my head going crazy
they have to be on show
most sadness is just memories
i want never to relive
any anger is frustration
i'm learning slowly to forgive
theres stuff i need to address,
that i couldn't at the time
feelings i need to process
that i can't just wave goodbye
so be gentle with my substance
don't say i can't understand
maybe my experiences are different
i'm trying to live without someone holding my hand
i don't know everything about death
but i've seen more than i want
and love,is just confusing...
thats something that i've learnt
i was never going to give up
and i was prepared for getting burnt
because...i know that life is what it is
i don't need to have control
and learning that and seeing through
is what makes my happiness more real
than those who just don't know...