Going to plan

You can give me a ring if you want," he said helpfully. Knowing full
well I wouldn't.
Knowing me as he did and that I wouldn't want to appear as if I
couldn't cope.
He was bright, bubbly and drop dead gorgeous, in an experienced sort of
way. I wouldn't call him fashion conscious, even though he owned a
respectable fashion house in the trendy part of town. He was always
explicitly groomed. Dressed in a suit and tie even on the hottest of
days. The company image was important to him but not enough to throw
away his tweed suits and ghastly waistcoats.
On slack days I would find myself dreaming of him. Walking his beloved
dog down by the river, not the most adventurous of past times. However,
hoping that one day I'd be a part of that dream. Walking hand in hand.
Maybe stopping off at his local for a quick drink before returning home
to an open log fire and curling up with him and a cup of hot
chocolate.

How I hungered for those brief words passed over the phone.
"Hi Jen, and how am I finding you today?" He'd ask in that husky
Northern accent.
"I'm very well thank you," I'd reply. Standing straighter and tidying
my hair.

He had no idea of how I lived for his every visit.

Yes I had a crush on him and when Sally the manager had said, "I'm
taking two

weeks off Jen&;#8230; Putting you in charge&;#8230; You'll be
ok&;#8230; Won't you? John will pop in and he's only the other end
of the phone should you need any advice."
I must admit my tummy did a somersault; I'd have him all to myself. I
couldn't wait.
I'd have to get my hair and nails checked. Then I'd have to come up
with some sort of plan, to get him to drop by everyday, with out it
looking to obvious you understand. Then lastly, I'd have to leave
myself wide open so he'd have no choice but to ask me out. This was
going to need military planning. Especially if I was going to pull it
off with out anyone suspecting that it was me that made the first
move.

He'd been married, but now he was an eligible bachelor. Whenever I
asked discrete questions, he avoided the answers, which suggested to me
he wasn't exactly looking for anyone. However, should anyone come
knocking? Who knows?

A spring wedding would be nice I thought, rearranging the clothes in
the window display&;#8230; nothing to big just a few friends and I'd
seen the ideal cream suit in the back. This seasons style. Yes that
would be just perfect.
"Haven't you done that display yet?" Sally said jokingly making me
jump.
"Hhhu, sorry&;#8230;"
"I know! You were day dreaming again."
"Was it that obvious?"
"Obvious! Those brain waves are so strong; Sky satellite can pick them
up."
I blushed awkwardly, if only she knew.

Thoughts raced through my mind. What should I wear? Possibly, something
tighter fitting? After all I'd always taken care of my figure. Maybe I
should restyle my hair?

I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window.
Who was I trying to kid? Mr John Simms would never look twice at
me.

Before long it was the week of 'Wedding brain storm', well that's what
I called it. Sally had left piles of instructions and phone numbers
from whom to contact about store quires to the local hospital emergency
units.
I worked like a trooper, sorted the mail and deliveries.
Re-merchandised the new stock in-between answering the phone and
dealing with customers and a complaint. By Thursday I'd decided I must
have been doing to good a job

and not so much as a phone call from my hero.

I'd even coped with that dreadful woman with the airs and graces. Who
tries on everything but buys nothing. She's enough to ruin anyone's
day.
I was a little miffed, I have to admit. It would have been polite if
nothing else for him to drop by. To busy I guess! I just wasn't
important enough.
Then just as I was displaying the last of the delivery, the bee- bop of
the shop door went.
"John!"
"Hi Jen, How are you?"
My heart missed a beat.

"This is a nice surprise." I smiled a big cheesy smile. Guilty of the
names I'd been calling him only minutes earlier.
"I just thought I'd drop by, see if your ok."
"Everything's fine." Especially now you're here, I thought to myself.
"I've almost worked through the list Sally left," I said proudly, "I
just have this last bit of stock to put out.
"I can see!" John picked up the invoice I'd left on the counter.
"Err&;#8230; did you check this? He pointed to the invoice.
"Yes. However I did think it was&;#8230;" I didn't know what to say.
How to word, cheap and nasty - with out appearing rude and knowing he
picked most of the stock himself.
"Not to our usual standard," he added.
"Well now you come to mention it." I said agreeing.
"Did you check the address at the top?"
My colour flushed. "No! I didn't." What an idiot! It never even dawned
on me, that the delivery driver could have made a mistake. That it
wasn't our order. I just wanted to make a good impression. My heart
sank. I'd worked so hard to get everything done. To be seen as
efficient. All I'd done was make myself look a total ninny.

How could I have missed some thing so obvious?

"Not to worry," He brushed his hand through his hair. "I can help you
re-pack it." He said dryly.

Then right out of the blue, he said, "You look different! My goodness!
What on earth have you done to your hair?"
"Do you like it?" I could tell by his expression, he didn't.
"Well it's certainly&;#8230; different!" He said still
shocked.
"So you don't like it? It's the latest style," I said feeling his eyes
boring into my scalp.
He paused for what seemed like an eternity. "Perhaps it's the colour,"
He looked me up and down, walked around me like a museum piece.
Then he added. "No, no&;#8230; It's&;#8230; very&;#8230;
nice&;#8230; It makes you&;#8230; look younger"
But the damage was done. Even if at this point he'd thrown his arms
around me, and pleaded for mercy. It wouldn't have helped.
What a fool! What a complete idiot!
To think I could impress him by changing my image and dying my
hair.
I burst into tears. He realised that his comment had struck much harder
than he'd ever intended.
"Come on now," he smiled awkwardly; "I didn't mean to upset you," and
he offered me his crisp neatly pressed handkerchief as a peace
offering.
"This is going to take a while to sort out!" He said softly, flicking
the lock and turning the door sign over.

Closed

"A cup of tea," he said taking charge and whisking me into the
back.

There I was sitting in the storeroom, on a pile of empty boxes,
snivelling like a child.
"I'm sorry," I said, wiping my eyes."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said. Holding out a loaded spoon
over a mug of steaming liquid.
"Sugar?"

"Oh, but I have." I added, nodding to answer his question. "I mixed all
the stock up. Paying an arm and a leg for a ridiculous hairstyle, that
doesn't even suit! Never mind, flatter me and clothes my granddaughter
would say were cool. Just to try and look young again."
Carrying a mug of tea in each hand he beckoned me to move up.
Then sitting beside me he said, "I don't know the dress is
very&;#8230;" He slid his arm around my shoulders to comfort
me&;#8230;Young!" Changing the subject, "The stocks not your fault,"
adding, "anyone could have made the same mistake,"
I chuckled to myself.
"What's so funny? He asked confused."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me." His voice daring me to confess.
I could feel an electric current pass between us. Every nerve in my
body tingled and fused into one. I looked into his dazzling eyes, on
passed the insensitive comments and saw he was truly sorry.
"Before Sally went away," I started. "This is what I dreamt would
happen."
He looked puzzled and eagerly waited for more information.

"Having you all to myself, with out any interruptions." I lowered my
head in shame.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end.
"We were quiet for a while then he gave me a squeeze.
"Well if it's confession time." He put his mug down; corrected his
pepper grey fringe and loosened his tie. As if he was about to make an
important speech. He wrapped his caring soft hands around mine and
turned to look at me. They were warm and soothing, just how I imagined
them to be.
He took a big deep breath.
"As you know I've been alone since Amy went. It's not been easy you
know." For a moment I thought I heard a tremor in his voice. "Keeping
the boutique, but it's what she would have wanted. We were together 32
years. She was a good woman." He paused reminiscing on his wife's
memory. Then he added. "Sally kept saying to me,"
"Dad!" she said, "You can't keep living in the past. Mum's gone. Get a
life." That was Sally alright. Straight to the point.
"I've wanted to ask you out for ages..." he continued. "Didn't quite
know how&;#8230; Sally suggested this rouse&;#8230; So we could
be alone together&;#8230; With out it being too obvious. If I'd have
come round sooner&;#8230;"
For the first time I saw him in a different light. He was like me,
vulnerable and lonely. Yes I have my grown up family around me. The
grandchildren are a pleasure,
but at night when the door is closed and the curtains drawn, my bed is
cold and lonely. I still have lots of love to give to the right
man.
He was apologising. "Nerves I guess&;#8230; I thought my dating days
were over."

He looked so sweet, a little boy who needed to be loved. Just as the
child in me needed to be held.
"I mean at our ages," he added, shrugging his shoulders. "Going out on
a first date. It's almost indecent."
I moved my hands out and over his. It was my turn to comfort him
now.
I leant forward and pecked his cheek. It was nectar to my lips.
"Aren't we both silly?" I said, nudging his shoulder. "Acting like two
love sick teenagers."
He nodded in agreement.
"I think it's a wonderful idea! Going out," I said. "When do you
suggest?"&;#8230;