Who wants a valentine anyway

TO WIN A VALENTINE

"Come on lads, suggestions needed for this special day,

How to win her favours, do you know a way?"

They said, "Be romantic." - "How?" - we sat and thought,

"Give her flowers," say they. - so I saved and bought.

Romeo tried - he was also dim!

Should have learnt, look what happened to him!

Now here I lie, all a glow,

Wrapped in bandages, from top to toe.

Not allowed to leave my bed,

Nil by mouth, I can't be fed.

Broken limbs and a fractured jaw,

All because - I chose a window and not the door!

See, I found myself - climbing this tree,

I opened her window - she screamed at me.

Father appeared, Shouts "Oi" - from below,

Shock, horror - "Arrr!" I just let go.

I met the ground - with such a thump,

Brother stuck boot in - what a chump.

So there I stayed - till almost dawn,
Out cold splayed - across the lawn.

The ambulance, finally whisks me away,

Who wants a bloody valentine - anyway!....