Brooding Malevolence

I was filled with a brooding malevolence yesterday. It was directed
at all mankind but towards my children in particular. What are they
for? They only seem to exist to have fun and to stick their trunks into
the fridge and slurp.

However I woke up in a marginally less vile state this morning. As I
lay there in bed I had a strange thought process. I can't remember it
all now but the conclusion was the realisation that I only really like
being on my own.

I think it is hormonal.

Since I had the realisation I have been testing it by imagining being
with various people that I like. I think I sometimes do like being with
other people.

This realisation does actually throw a new light on everything. If it
is true and not just a symptom of PMS then perhaps I need to rethink my
plan for life. This plan has sometimes included the idea that I might
settle down happily with someone at some point. Clearly this is not an
option for someone who would rather be on their own. It is puzzling me
a bit.

I have spent the whole day gloriously and enjoyably in my own company
except for a brief moment when I returned from the Co-Op with a huge
amount of groceries. The kids all appeared with hungry looks on their
faces and set about eating the things I had bought.

Also if it is true then I have made endless mistakes in my life.
Getting married, having children, making friends, going to work. These
are not advisable for people who would rather be on their own.

I find myself thinking it's pity it wasn't picked up in my careers
interview. Then I could have opted for a suitable career/lifestyle such
as lighthouse keeper. I think it explains the failure of the careers
interview during which I filled in a multiple choice questionnaire
which was then analysed and told me I could have a career as an
advertising copy writer.

It's obvious that I have been living wrongly and convincing people that
I am an outgoing gregarious sociable type.

Oh dear.