Go Jump

Go Jump by Neil McCall

when we told you
to take a running jump
we merely expressed
a desire to see you
distressed and tousled in the sandpit

and
when we told you
to go jump in the lake
we had visions of
your hair plashed with pondlife
stirred-up mud and mallard shit

and
when we told you
to go jump in the canal
we hoped you would
splutter to the bank
and squelch along the towpath
as we howled at your discomfort

but
when we told you
to go jump in the river
we didn't mean
from off of the Humber Bridge