Ohh Look At My Lips.

I want to switch on my laptop
and fall through the screen,
Be Ms Jolie-Pitt for a day,
(Or even his ex.)
Escape this drudgery that has
stolen my Hollywood life
like I have suddenly joined the WRVS
or paid a yearly subscription
To Readers Digest, simply to get
a free gardening gift,
(and ogle the postman more regularly, of course.)
I would never have guessed
that twitching net curtains, and
glasses on walls
could bring so much joy, or that
watching the neighbours move in,
(awful three piece by the way)
would relieve the monotony
of being trapped here.
And who would have thought that
Jeremy Kyle, with his slappably smug face
could become
the highlight of my day, as
he belittles another DNA family
(who incidentally need a good wash,
and the address of a birth control clinic)
or that
I would ever enjoy reading a
Val Mcdermid novel, quite as much as I did.
Who would have thought
that I should have listened to elders
and paid more attention in school,
instead of buying O.K, Here and Heat,
and dreaming of bedding Brad!