Destiny Calling

'Digame!'

'Hello, EE-wan Law-wire?'

'Ewan Lawrie, yes.'

'Ye-ess. Felicity Harper-Ffoulkes'

'Does she? How nice.'

'Oh! Ha ha ha ha. Ha. No, calling from Vanity Press. About your book.'

'What book?'

'We-ell, the one... you have sent us a manuscript, haven't you?'

'No.'

'Are you sure?'

'I think so, what's it about?'

'Well, I've only got the fifty word pitch in front of me here...'

'And?'

'Umm... you are a writer, right?'

'Some people think so.'

'Yes. Anyway. It's the one about the serial killer in Victorian England. Giles – the proprietor , that is - he's my...my uncle you know. Well, he liked this bit: in your pitch. Ahem....'It's not Dickens, more like Victorian Psycho.' Ooh yes, he did like that.'

'What is it you want?'

'It's... um... it... um. Well, I just can't seem to lay my hands on the manuscript, d'you see?'

'Really?'

'So, would you mind awfully sending it again?'

'I didn't write it.'

'Oh I'm sure that won't matter, can you knock something up in a week?'

'Doubtless, I'll start now.'

'Oh, you lovely man. 'Uncle' would have been so angry! 'Bye!'

'Fare thee well.'