Neighbours 2

Morning Mrs. Murray, what a lovely day,
I couldn’t feel much better
if my old man had turned gay!

What’s that Mrs. Murray, what’s put me in good mood?
Old ‘Frog face’ Fallon’s daughter
is on page three in the nude!

I know, that’s what I thought, I near fell off my chair;
a big smile and her tits out
and a wig of long blonde hair

That will stop her boasting about ‘her public school.’
How my girl has brains to burn
She must feel like a right tool!

Old Johnny Metcalf’s snuffed it; weren’t no real surprise.
You know; he was a butcher,
a hunch-back with football eyes!

One eye facing Brighton, the other for Saint Paul’s,
he walked like a crab; sideways!
In the war he lost his balls.

He had a thing for Judy Faversham - he always fancied sluts!
Before the war he gave her
his own ‘special’ well hung cuts

I’ve got to go out shopping and get myself some shoes.
He’s inside recovering;
he was all night on the booze

Me? I was delighted, I never made a peep
I went and robbed his wallet
soon as he was fast asleep

He’s mad as hell this morning, he don’t know where it went.
It saved me lots of begging
‘cause he thinks he has it spent.

‘Desperate Dan’, the Dustman has run off with ‘Fag-ash Lil’.
What? Yea, I think your right there;
She is well over the hill

She spent so much time on her back; out in the cold grass,
she’s got piles, the size like footballs
between the cheeks of her arse

I’ll talk to you tomorrow, if you see my old man,
don’t say a word about the shoes
or the shit will hit the fan!