Humorous Ramblings

By threeleafshamrock

Hopefully raise a smile!

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  • 2500 reads

Wibbly Wobbly Wonder

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 24 Sep 2009

Just a bit of a laugh but some may find insulting.
Humour
Story
Certificate 18

Bee Keeper

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 13 Sep 2009

Who said bee-keeping was boring? ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Neighbours

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 28 Jun 2009

Mrs. Jackson’s jealous; it’s put her out of fettle. She looks just like a Bulldog that’s licked piss off a nettle!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

4 Fibs

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 20 Jul 2009

;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

A Cybering Tale

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 29 Aug 2010

The WWWeb can be a wonderful place ..ahhhh
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 18

A Rose?

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 01 Jun 2009

I turned to you and thought here goes, ‘Should I compare thee to a rose?’ You looked at me, like I had horns ‘YOU MEAN I’M FULL OF BLOODY THORNS?’
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

A Song for Pinda

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 16 Jul 2009

For the REAL Rapper in the hood ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

A Song for Pinda (R.I.P.)

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 16 Dec 2011

Thinking of departed friends at this time of year..and reposted this for my late ABCtales pal Pinda. He will be missed
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

A Time of Great Poetry (A Limerick)

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 22 Jan 2009

To name but 3. Shakespeare took equality past the norm; most of his leading male characters being acted by women...Champion of Women's rights? ;) ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Algernon’s Prudence 1

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 15 Aug 2009

Forced engagement! Inspired by Wodehouse It may be continued; it's up to you. It could turn into a rather lengthy piece; what do you all think? ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

Antony and Cleopatra I.P.

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 26 Nov 2009

This weeks I.P. Maybe not as Will Shaky Spear might have seen it .... ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Bangkok Holiday

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 15 Apr 2010

Never been there...pure fiction!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

Basic Training

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 21 Mar 2009

The first day of ‘Basic Training’ was – for all the wrong reasons – a special day.
Humour
Story
Certificate 18
Cherry

Batty and Betty

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 06 Oct 2009

Read it and see ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Birthing Ward

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 08 Feb 2009

The skin was pulled so far back on my forehead that thought my eyes would fall out. Mind you the improvement in Peripheral vision was quite astounding!
Humour
Story
Certificate 15
Cherry

Blackbird Rapper

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 14 Jun 2009

Dawn chorus??
Humour
Poem
Certificate PG

Blackbird Rapper meets Seagull Crapper (Esquire)

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 15 Jul 2009

There's rules if you is in the Rappers' hood! One for Pinda ;) Inspired by Jupiter's' fishy tale ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

Blackbird Rapper – Goes courting

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 15 Jun 2009

Well, it ain't cock robin!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Blackbird Rapper – On Trial

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 16 Jun 2009

Oh F…F…Fu…Fuc…Fuc…Fuc…Fascinating! Is the de…de…de…def…defuc…defuc…defense ready?
Humour
Other
Certificate 15
Cherry

Bring up the bucket (I.P.)

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 26 Feb 2012

Old folks can be embarrassing...God, I can't wait for my turn ;)
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Can I do anything right?

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 31 Mar 2009

Did you ever have one of those days?
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate U

Canvassing!

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 24 Jun 2009

Labour intensive?
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Cheap Beer and No Sex

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 11 Aug 2009

Cheap beer can be a real passion killer - even if you don't drink it ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

Chip Butty

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 01 Feb 2011

You gotta love it....
Love
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

Christmas Cock-Up

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 21 Jan 2009

It was a Christmas time Saturday night
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

Christmas Cock-Up

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 13 Dec 2011

An oldie...but it is that time of year again :D
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

Christmas Flasher

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 17 Dec 2009

This is fiction folks....honestly! ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

Cindy

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 07 Jun 2009

A product-complaint letter from a rather irate customer...A trimmed down former post!
Humour
Other
Certificate 18

Cursery Rhyme I.P.

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 01 Dec 2009

Don't you just love Nursery Rhymes...;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

Dear Santa

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 22 Dec 2011

Wishing all my friends on ABC a Happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas; thanks for being there. Chris ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

Dear Santa...

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 06 Sep 2009

A cocky little cockney wants no more cock-ups from Santa... ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

King Henry the VIII

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 10 Jan 2009

So modern wives list… And don’t get so pissed When sex takes the form of a tax Just think of poor Anne And the rest of the clan Cold shouldered is better than axed
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

Mark's Party London 1970

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 13 Jan 2009

She queried, sounding impressively like Tiny Tim, tip-toeing barefoot, through the garden of broken glass, while carrying Hattie Jakes on his bac
Romance
Story
Certificate 18

Regrets

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 18 Jan 2009

I Wonder.
Humour
Poem
Certificate U

Stupid Aspirations (A Limerick)

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 22 Jan 2009

Be careful what you wish for! (A Limerick)
Autobiography
Poem
Certificate 12
Cherry

Pub Banter! (East End Style)

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 27 Jan 2009

“Where was you, when manners was handed out?” “Round the corner, having a fag. Where was you?” “Round the other one, shagging your Mum; there was a queue!”
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

The Driving Lesson (PART 1)

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 29 Jan 2009

But we’re parked; what did you think She was going to do; ram us with her Zimmer frame?
Humour
Other
Certificate 15

Little Jackie

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 30 Jan 2009

...He flew through the air like ‘Superdog’ And hit the front of the bus like bird-shit.
Humour
Other
Certificate 12

Perversely Grammatical

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 02 Feb 2009

“Well, in monetary terms; nothing! However in grammatical Terms; rather a lot actually” “You takin’ the piss?”
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

The Day I Stared Deff in the Hood!

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 17 Feb 2009

“I DISTINCTLY HEARD YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE DEAF.” “Yea! I yam! Don’t mean I can’t ear though!”
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Three Postings!

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 01 Mar 2009

It was signed by T.COOK; who was he? What joker could possibly hope To restrict such pure talent, as me? He must be on some kind of dope!
Opinion
Poem
Certificate U

If I knew then what I know now; I.P.

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 09 Mar 2009

Would I have hung that mistletoe If I knew that you’d invited Jo Who has huge tits, she loves to show And chose to ‘Flash’ poor Father Rowe Would I?
Humour
Certificate 18

The Crush

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 26 Mar 2009

Have you ever had a crush on 'Teacher'?
Love
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

Punctuation Moron

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 27 Mar 2009

Should that be a full stop Or a Colon that’s halved
Humour
Poem
Certificate U

Forced Ejaculation! (1 syllable challenge)

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 02 Jun 2009

I need a new mattress...hope this doesn't offend.
Humour
Certificate 18
Cherry

That Summer!

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 02 Jun 2009

You leaned out on the branch, sniffing the pink(ish) flower. A bee lodged in your left nostril and stung you till it died; you fell to the ground screaming.
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

The Fight

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 06 Jun 2009

‘I think you have broken his will power’, Charlie told me, lying! ‘I think he has broken my f-----g nose’, I replied truthfully.
Other Fiction
Story
Certificate 15

The Thong Of Fire

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 11 Jun 2009

A birthday present to forget! Apologies to Johnny Cash.
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

Sex-Life

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 17 Jun 2009

It was worth a try!
Love
Poem
Certificate U

She had a lovely Bush!

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 22 Jun 2009

I talked to, kissed and fondled it just like a man possessed
Humour
Poem
Certificate U

The Sauna

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 25 Jun 2009

Here, get your shorts off, grab a towel and come with me. Sounds like one of Elton John’s chat-up lines.
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Neighbours 2

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 02 Jul 2009

I know, that’s what I thought, I near fell off my chair; a big smile and her tits out and a wig of long blonde hair
Humour
Poem
Certificate 12

Stolen Cherry (I.P.)

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 04 Jul 2009

I know I was wrong, I plead guilty and possibly I was a creep but lying there, it looked so juicy; I’d have asked you but you were asleep!
Humour
Poem
Certificate U
Cherry

My Sisters Cherry (I.P.)

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 04 Jul 2009

Our neighbours must have been there too cos I’m sure I heard Bill Tucker and a guy I never heard of by the name of Randy Fu....
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Willie – Part 1

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 05 Jul 2009

just a little story that I'm working on... please feel free to slate at will. ;)
Autobiography
Story
Certificate 15

Spanish Holiday

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 05 Jul 2009

We sat on the hotel balcony, I with my Spanish brandy and ‘Linda Lovelace’ cigar.
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Race for a Penis!

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 18 Jul 2009

If the title doesn't get you interested; nothing will ;)
Humour
Story
Certificate 15
Cherry

Empty Sphere

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 19 Jul 2009

Just IMAGINATION!
Humour
Certificate 18

My Spatula

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 26 Jul 2009

I.P. effort ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate U

Skunks are bloody smelly!

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 27 Jul 2009

A deep and thoughtful poem about a malodorous little scallywag :) Sorry Skunk...nothing personal :/
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Twelve Inches (but I don’t use it as a rule)

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 28 Jul 2009

Do NOT...I repeat NOT...read if easily offended! You have been warned; this ain't Shakespeare!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

My name is Tutankhamen

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 31 Jul 2009

The 'Afterlife' just ain't no fun without your 'bits' ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Was it you?

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 02 Aug 2009

Innocent youthful fun ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate PG

Small Penis

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 10 Aug 2009

Inspired by Niki72 and her hilarious pregnancy saga OVER 18's only (Not inches)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

Phobia I.P.

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 16 Aug 2009

This weeks I.P. ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate U

Scriptures and Bouncers

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 19 Aug 2009

God did NOT create bouncers!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

Hetty Williams

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 23 Aug 2009

OVER 18'S...You have been warned ;)
Humour
Certificate 18

The Razor

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 24 Aug 2009

Using the wife's razor is never a good idea ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

Miss Cleavage I.P.

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 02 Sep 2009

I came across the photo (not literally) and couldn't resist ;) Err..I.P. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cholder68/496923789/in/set-72157600211863193/ oops lost the pic; back now!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

My Partner the Nympho Vampire Chapter 1

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 08 Sep 2009

If you think this is crap, please say so! Thanks Short 1st chapter so you might actually read it.
Humour
Story
Certificate 18

Then and Now

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 14 Sep 2009

It's the thought that counts ;)
Love
Poem
Certificate 15

Nicknames!

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 19 Sep 2009

I.P. Attempt; serious stuff ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

King Henry the (Chopper) VIII

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 21 Sep 2009

Re-posting and early one, cos it's Monday, it's raining and I need a laugh; for anyone who missed it or is interested
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15
Cherry

How to ‘Top’ yourself (without using the ‘S’ word).

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 29 Sep 2009

It's still dangerous..and it brings on many changes.;)
Humour
Certificate 15

Happy Anniversary…

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 30 Sep 2009

Forgive and forget but forget and you'll wait to be forgiven ;)
Romance
Certificate 15
Cherry

Musn't Grumble!

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 11 Dec 2009

Inspired by something Silver Spun Sand had written ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Screwed

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 12 Dec 2009

There's more to life than screwing!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Stay Away Santa

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 19 Dec 2009

Santa's a perv...I know stuff!
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

Joseph and Mary (A Christmas Story - sort of - Part 1)

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 20 Dec 2009

If your religious...Sorry! :^/
Humour
Certificate 18

The Nativity - Sort of...

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 27 Dec 2009

Joe and Mary in Bethlehem ....no offense :/
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18

Santa the Fat Lad

By threeleafshamrock on Sun, 27 Dec 2009

I like him really...;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

When I was young

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 14 Jan 2010

Playtex and shrink-fit Levis; those were the days ;)
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Different Strokes

By threeleafshamrock on Wed, 31 Mar 2010

It's only sex...
Humour
Certificate 18
Cherry

Dog for sale!

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 27 Apr 2010

I've got a Jack Russel that could live up to this ;)
Humour
Certificate U

Jackie

By threeleafshamrock on Mon, 03 May 2010

Had this up as prose (loose description) and decided to re-jig it for a bit of flash fiction. Just experimenting! No dogs were injured or American tourists robbed, in the writing of this story...
Humour
Certificate 18

World Cup Tales

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 02 Jul 2010

Ah the world cup ...a game for ladies played by ...men?
Humour
Poem
Certificate 15

Granny and Santa!

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 17 Dec 2010

Santa and I, could be related....sort of ;-))
Humour
Certificate 18
Cherry

Wet Holes

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 31 Dec 2010

Don't count your chickens......
Humour
Story
Certificate 18

Quick thinking

By threeleafshamrock on Sat, 01 Jan 2011

Next time, I have to think on my feet, I'll sit down first!
Humour
Story
Certificate 18

The Bin Man

By threeleafshamrock on Tue, 01 Feb 2011

I know someone who loves the bin man lol.....
Humour
Poem
Certificate 18
Cherry

Hangover

By threeleafshamrock on Fri, 18 Feb 2011

Looking and feeling my best...NOT!
Autobiography
Certificate 15
Cherry

The Visit

By threeleafshamrock on Thu, 07 Feb 2013

Hospital visits...you gotta love 'em ;)
Humour
Story
Certificate 18