Humorous Ramblings
Hopefully raise a smile!
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- 2500 reads
Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
Just a bit of a laugh but some may find insulting.
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- 9 comments
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- 2546 reads
Bee Keeper
Who said bee-keeping was boring? ;)
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- 12 comments
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- 2294 reads
Neighbours
Mrs. Jackson’s jealous; it’s put her out of fettle. She looks just like a Bulldog that’s licked piss off a nettle!
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- 14 comments
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- 2923 reads
A Cybering Tale
The WWWeb can be a wonderful place ..ahhhh
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- 2 comments
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- 1072 reads
A Rose?
I turned to you and thought here goes, ‘Should I compare thee to a rose?’ You looked at me, like I had horns ‘YOU MEAN I’M FULL OF BLOODY THORNS?’
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- 7 comments
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- 1964 reads
A Song for Pinda
For the REAL Rapper in the hood ;)
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- 6 comments
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- 1984 reads
A Song for Pinda (R.I.P.)
Thinking of departed friends at this time of year..and reposted this for my late ABCtales pal Pinda. He will be missed
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- 11 comments
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- 2171 reads
A Time of Great Poetry (A Limerick)
To name but 3. Shakespeare took equality past the norm; most of his leading male characters being acted by women...Champion of Women's rights? ;) ;)
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- 1028 reads
Algernon’s Prudence 1
Forced engagement! Inspired by Wodehouse It may be continued; it's up to you. It could turn into a rather lengthy piece; what do you all think? ;)
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- 8 comments
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- 2161 reads
Antony and Cleopatra I.P.
This weeks I.P. Maybe not as Will Shaky Spear might have seen it .... ;)
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- 11 comments
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- 2444 reads
Bangkok Holiday
Never been there...pure fiction!
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- 4 comments
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- 1449 reads
Basic Training
The first day of ‘Basic Training’ was – for all the wrong reasons – a special day.
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- 9 comments
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- 2334 reads
Batty and Betty
Read it and see ;)
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- 15 comments
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- 3046 reads
Birthing Ward
The skin was pulled so far back on my forehead that thought my eyes would fall out. Mind you the improvement in Peripheral vision was quite astounding!
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- 4 comments
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- 1972 reads
Blackbird Rapper
Dawn chorus??
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- 17 comments
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- 4468 reads
Blackbird Rapper meets Seagull Crapper (Esquire)
There's rules if you is in the Rappers' hood! One for Pinda ;) Inspired by Jupiter's' fishy tale ;)
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- 17 comments
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- 3307 reads
Blackbird Rapper – Goes courting
Well, it ain't cock robin!
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- 7 comments
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- 1740 reads
Blackbird Rapper – On Trial
Oh F…F…Fu…Fuc…Fuc…Fuc…Fascinating! Is the de…de…de…def…defuc…defuc…defense ready?
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- 4 comments
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- 2105 reads
Bring up the bucket (I.P.)
Old folks can be embarrassing...God, I can't wait for my turn ;)
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- 13 comments
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- 2114 reads
Can I do anything right?
Did you ever have one of those days?
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- 5 comments
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- 1786 reads
Canvassing!
Labour intensive?
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- 1 comment
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- 1075 reads
Cheap Beer and No Sex
Cheap beer can be a real passion killer - even if you don't drink it ;)
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- 6 comments
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- 2036 reads
Chip Butty
You gotta love it....
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- 3 comments
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- 1277 reads
Christmas Cock-Up
It was a Christmas time Saturday night
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- 6 comments
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- 2398 reads
Christmas Cock-Up
An oldie...but it is that time of year again :D
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- 8 comments
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- 1437 reads
Christmas Flasher
This is fiction folks....honestly! ;)
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- 8 comments
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- 2281 reads
Cindy
A product-complaint letter from a rather irate customer...A trimmed down former post!
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- 10 comments
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- 2676 reads
Cursery Rhyme I.P.
Don't you just love Nursery Rhymes...;)
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- 5 comments
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- 2565 reads
Dear Santa
Wishing all my friends on ABC a Happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas; thanks for being there. Chris ;)
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- 7 comments
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- 1666 reads
Dear Santa...
A cocky little cockney wants no more cock-ups from Santa... ;)
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- 10 comments
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- 2328 reads
King Henry the VIII
So modern wives list… And don’t get so pissed When sex takes the form of a tax Just think of poor Anne And the rest of the clan Cold shouldered is better than axed
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- 1555 reads
Mark's Party London 1970
She queried, sounding impressively like Tiny Tim, tip-toeing barefoot, through the garden of broken glass, while carrying Hattie Jakes on his bac
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- 2 comments
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- 1197 reads
Stupid Aspirations (A Limerick)
Be careful what you wish for! (A Limerick)
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- 1009 reads
Pub Banter! (East End Style)
“Where was you, when manners was handed out?” “Round the corner, having a fag. Where was you?” “Round the other one, shagging your Mum; there was a queue!”
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- 7 comments
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- 1785 reads
The Driving Lesson (PART 1)
But we’re parked; what did you think She was going to do; ram us with her Zimmer frame?
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- 9 comments
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- 2585 reads
Little Jackie
...He flew through the air like ‘Superdog’ And hit the front of the bus like bird-shit.
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- 10 comments
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- 2325 reads
Perversely Grammatical
“Well, in monetary terms; nothing! However in grammatical Terms; rather a lot actually” “You takin’ the piss?”
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- 12 comments
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- 2337 reads
The Day I Stared Deff in the Hood!
“I DISTINCTLY HEARD YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE DEAF.” “Yea! I yam! Don’t mean I can’t ear though!”
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- 10 comments
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- 2914 reads
Three Postings!
It was signed by T.COOK; who was he? What joker could possibly hope To restrict such pure talent, as me? He must be on some kind of dope!
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- 11 comments
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- 3643 reads
If I knew then what I know now; I.P.
Would I have hung that mistletoe If I knew that you’d invited Jo Who has huge tits, she loves to show And chose to ‘Flash’ poor Father Rowe Would I?
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- 11 comments
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- 2362 reads
The Crush
Have you ever had a crush on 'Teacher'?
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- 2 comments
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- 1479 reads
Punctuation Moron
Should that be a full stop Or a Colon that’s halved
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- 11 comments
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- 2974 reads
Forced Ejaculation! (1 syllable challenge)
I need a new mattress...hope this doesn't offend.
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- 4 comments
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- 2438 reads
That Summer!
You leaned out on the branch, sniffing the pink(ish) flower. A bee lodged in your left nostril and stung you till it died; you fell to the ground screaming.
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- 11 comments
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- 2497 reads
The Fight
‘I think you have broken his will power’, Charlie told me, lying! ‘I think he has broken my f-----g nose’, I replied truthfully.
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- 5 comments
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- 1527 reads
The Thong Of Fire
A birthday present to forget! Apologies to Johnny Cash.
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- 9 comments
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- 2451 reads
She had a lovely Bush!
I talked to, kissed and fondled it just like a man possessed
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- 7 comments
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- 2337 reads
The Sauna
Here, get your shorts off, grab a towel and come with me. Sounds like one of Elton John’s chat-up lines.
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- 934 reads
Neighbours 2
I know, that’s what I thought, I near fell off my chair; a big smile and her tits out and a wig of long blonde hair
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- 2 comments
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- 1130 reads
Stolen Cherry (I.P.)
I know I was wrong, I plead guilty and possibly I was a creep but lying there, it looked so juicy; I’d have asked you but you were asleep!
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- 11 comments
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- 1967 reads
My Sisters Cherry (I.P.)
Our neighbours must have been there too cos I’m sure I heard Bill Tucker and a guy I never heard of by the name of Randy Fu....
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- 14 comments
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- 6430 reads
Willie – Part 1
just a little story that I'm working on... please feel free to slate at will. ;)
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- 744 reads
Spanish Holiday
We sat on the hotel balcony, I with my Spanish brandy and ‘Linda Lovelace’ cigar.
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- 4 comments
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- 1458 reads
Race for a Penis!
If the title doesn't get you interested; nothing will ;)
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- 12 comments
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- 2926 reads
Empty Sphere
Just IMAGINATION!
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- 17 comments
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- 3312 reads
Skunks are bloody smelly!
A deep and thoughtful poem about a malodorous little scallywag :) Sorry Skunk...nothing personal :/
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- 3 comments
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- 1181 reads
Twelve Inches (but I don’t use it as a rule)
Do NOT...I repeat NOT...read if easily offended! You have been warned; this ain't Shakespeare!
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- 15 comments
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- 2556 reads
My name is Tutankhamen
The 'Afterlife' just ain't no fun without your 'bits' ;)
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- 10 comments
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- 2132 reads
Was it you?
Innocent youthful fun ;)
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- 4 comments
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- 1505 reads
Small Penis
Inspired by Niki72 and her hilarious pregnancy saga OVER 18's only (Not inches)
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- 13 comments
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- 3016 reads
Phobia I.P.
This weeks I.P. ;)
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- 18 comments
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- 4468 reads
Scriptures and Bouncers
God did NOT create bouncers!
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- 8 comments
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- 2264 reads
Hetty Williams
OVER 18'S...You have been warned ;)
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- 11 comments
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- 2361 reads
The Razor
Using the wife's razor is never a good idea ;)
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- 7 comments
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- 2060 reads
Miss Cleavage I.P.
I came across the photo (not literally) and couldn't resist ;) Err..I.P. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cholder68/496923789/in/set-72157600211863193/ oops lost the pic; back now!
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- 11 comments
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- 2227 reads
My Partner the Nympho Vampire Chapter 1
If you think this is crap, please say so! Thanks Short 1st chapter so you might actually read it.
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- 7 comments
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- 2444 reads
Then and Now
It's the thought that counts ;)
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- 12 comments
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- 2305 reads
Nicknames!
I.P. Attempt; serious stuff ;)
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- 6 comments
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- 1783 reads
King Henry the (Chopper) VIII
Re-posting and early one, cos it's Monday, it's raining and I need a laugh; for anyone who missed it or is interested
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- 10 comments
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- 2157 reads
How to ‘Top’ yourself (without using the ‘S’ word).
It's still dangerous..and it brings on many changes.;)
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- 39 comments
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- 5147 reads
Happy Anniversary…
Forgive and forget but forget and you'll wait to be forgiven ;)
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- 11 comments
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- 2994 reads
Musn't Grumble!
Inspired by something Silver Spun Sand had written ;)
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- 5 comments
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- 1632 reads
Screwed
There's more to life than screwing!
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- 5 comments
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- 1710 reads
Stay Away Santa
Santa's a perv...I know stuff!
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- 7 comments
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- 1858 reads
Joseph and Mary (A Christmas Story - sort of - Part 1)
If your religious...Sorry! :^/
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- 3 comments
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- 1357 reads
The Nativity - Sort of...
Joe and Mary in Bethlehem ....no offense :/
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- 4 comments
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- 1172 reads
Santa the Fat Lad
I like him really...;)
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- 2 comments
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- 942 reads
When I was young
Playtex and shrink-fit Levis; those were the days ;)
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- 6 comments
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- 1706 reads
Different Strokes
It's only sex...
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- 2 comments
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- 885 reads
Dog for sale!
I've got a Jack Russel that could live up to this ;)
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- 11 comments
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- 1967 reads
Jackie
Had this up as prose (loose description) and decided to re-jig it for a bit of flash fiction. Just experimenting! No dogs were injured or American tourists robbed, in the writing of this story...
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- 1 comment
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- 847 reads
World Cup Tales
Ah the world cup ...a game for ladies played by ...men?
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- 1 comment
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- 828 reads
Granny and Santa!
Santa and I, could be related....sort of ;-))
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- 7 comments
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- 1312 reads
Wet Holes
Don't count your chickens......
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- 3 comments
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- 1431 reads
Quick thinking
Next time, I have to think on my feet, I'll sit down first!
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- 3 comments
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- 1120 reads
The Bin Man
I know someone who loves the bin man lol.....
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- 1 comment
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- 711 reads
Hangover
Looking and feeling my best...NOT!
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- 5 comments
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- 1464 reads
The Visit
Hospital visits...you gotta love 'em ;)
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- 3 comments
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- 1296 reads