The Passing of Aunt Maud

“The biggest bonus of being old –
one doesn’t lose sleep over niceties;
ladders in one’s stockings – clapping
at the wrong moment at a concert,
and so on and so forth. No, my child;
on informed analysis, life’s too short,”
so lectured Great Aunt Maud,
in between bites of sandwiches
served by a ‘dishy male nurse’.
Her words, not mine. “It’s nice
to be pampered for a change...
except, egg and cress – not ideal
when one wears dentures.” Picking
her teeth with gusto – letting rip
a most amazing fart, equal to
the guns of Navarone in ferocity;
sitting in bed in her very latest
crocheted creation – a purple, green
and red striped beret. What it lacked
in artistry, it certainly made up for
in quirkiness; it was her to a ‘T’,
slurping her mug of Horlicks
from a spoon. All this, just a day
before she died. I recall, at the time,
in spite of everything, I had two
overwhelming urges; to give her,
both a hug...and a serviette .