my heart slowly opens

my heart went blank
as the mind does, it was
as if it had lost all its memories,
loving become but a fad,
nothing to hold onto, for so long
it was a heart that wanted
more than anything
to be loved
in exclusive possession
of the object
of desire.

it was so hard to regain
my feelings
after being wounded so deeply,
knowing that you
only saw me as a stepping stone
to someone else
or an excuse for being cruel.

such pain only brought me
memories of my youth
when i thought
i could bear more a little at a time...

slowly, my feelings
disconnect from memories of you
become joined
to more positive associations,
lose its sense of being betrayed,
become strong in knowing
that pain has its limits,
but still, i thank you
for making me see what a fool i was,
how proud i was
how full of conceited feeling.