Brandon's Party

Brandon was having a tantrum,
His tubby fists slammed the duvet,
His cries rocked the mansion,
And when his Mother came in
He screamed out, demanding

‘I want a party, Mommy! I want a party that shows
How special I am, so much better than those
Other kids down the street with their non-designer clothes!”

And Brandon began sobbing.
His chins they were wobbling.
His cheeks they were bobbing
As snot sprayed from his nose.

Now, Brandon’s Mother,
Like so many Mothers of a child like that
Doted upon Brandon’s wild attacks,
She took out her purse, smiled right back,
Pulled out some money, a monstrous stack,
Said ‘Brandon, we’re rich, let’s not worry about that!
Mummy’s special boy deserves a super special bash!’

By the end of the day the corridors were heaving,
With lasers and streamers that hung from the ceiling,
The dining room filled with the singing of choirs
A bustle of acrobats swallowing fire
A mechanical bull, an inflatable pool,
Two hummers to drive round the fields looking cool,
The dodgems were inviting. The dancers exciting,
The cupboard for getting off with each other
Had its own choice of mood lighting,

And the DJ they flew in span the tunes for the party
The murals were arty, the bouncers dressed smartly,
So many acts filled the building there was scarce room to stand on
And in the centre stood an ice sculpture, exactly like Brandon
With the same piggy face, but a physique much more handsome.

And below this statue, Brandon stood with his Mum,
Who was looking around, feeling something was wrong.
She asked, ‘Brandon, sweetheart, you did remember to send
Those invitations out to all of your friends?’

‘Friends?’ said Brandon.
‘Do you need them for a party? I’m not sure I agree.
Friends don’t matter to me as much as…well…me!’

So in the end the party consisted of Brandon and Brandon’s Mother.
They played in the pool; they rode on the bull,
They cheered the acrobats, bombed around in the hummer
They avoided the cupboard where you got off with each other
(Because that would have been weird)
And throughout his party not a single friend appeared,
Whilst the ice statue melted till it eventually disappeared.