SCIENCE FICTION CRAZY

I saw a flying saucer land upon the grass one day;
I went out to investigate incase it went away;
It was so bright and shiny - bent down to pick it up;
Then something cracked me on the head -
- - Turns out it was the cup!

- - I'm Science-Fiction crazy and mad about the stars;
- - I've built myself a telescope to look at life on Mars;
- - I always scan for U.F.O.'s at morning, night and noon;
- - I'm not content with earthlings' ways - I'm reaching for the moon!

I rode out in my E-type Jag, all systems they were 'Go",
It blasted off like Saturn Five, straight through a bungalow .....
I knew then that they'd seen me - I heard their lasers buzz;
Thought: This must be the Aliens -
- - Turns out it was the Fuzz!

I went off for a holiday, equipped my module high;
Discovered after E.V.A. a glow was in the sky;
I could not understand it, as rain all year had run;
Thought: This must be a U.F.O. -
- - Turns out it was the sun!

I saw whilst out the other night a purple meteor;
I fumbled with my mobile phone to ring up Patrick Moore;
It vaporised the garden shed, and landed with a bump;
Then started shooting coloured rays -
- - Turns out I was blind drunk!

While orbiting the park one day I saw a funny sight;
It was so weird and intricate and glittered in the light;
Thought: this must be a Time-machine, the countdown must be called -
Turns out it's modern sculpture which
- - The council had installed!

I thought I'd found Intelligence in craters on the moon;
I sat there with my telescope from midnight through to noon.
I'm sure that I saw something move, a black shape creeping by;
It might be something on the lens -
- - Turns out it was a fly!

I met a young man in the woods, and thought, 'Now he looks weird',
He had three feet of amber hair and half a yard of beard;
I said, "Are you from Jupiter, you wear such funny clothes?",
Turns out he was a Hippy and
- - He punched me on the nose!

I then went round to see my friend to ask him what he thought
About my way-out trendy gear, just like an astronaut.
I pressed his air-lock button hard, and then gave out a YELL
As I was promptly atomised
- - By his electric bell!

- - I'm Science-fiction crazy and mad about the stars,
- - I've built myself a telescope to look at life on Mars;
- - I always scan for U.F.O.'s at morning, night and noon;
- - I'm not content with earthlings' ways -
- - I'm reaching for the Moon!