The Unheard Voice
By Natalia
Sat, 11 Aug 2012
- 700 reads
2 comments
Never once
Never once
Did you listen
Did you listen?
A mere whisper
Lost to the winds
Left to her hands
Moulded by his fingers
Did you not ask me?
Speak to me
Incessantly; unheedingly
While my voice
Remained unheard
Tell me
If am wrong
In saying this
Today
You exploited my speech
Prevented me
From expressing
My pains
Stories untold
Forgotten in my heart
They wait; nevertheless
For ears to come past
Somewhere
In the near future
Would, could
You listen to me?
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Comments
Natalie, can i be honest? of
Natalie, can i be honest? of course I can! You put up in the forum about getting feedback on your work, not just comments like " Enjoyed or good read etc"
My problem here is, I can't find anything wrong with this at all.
I really like the way you put a question mark at the end of the fourth line. That put's a whole different slant to that first bit and makes you stop because it's asking a question.
I'm unsure if I would have put "Master" in there, it almost makes the poem have a different meaning.
But, here we go, a very enjoyable read!
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