Highway Part 28

Highway chapter 17(continued)

Around eight, we shuffled down to the entrance, waiting for Julian.

Veronica said, “He’s really strange, but you seem to like him a lot. I’ll see if he ‘grows’ on me, like you said.”

She smiled slightly, and I laughed.

“That’s Julian, alright.” I chuckled, “Like a parasite. He just kind of latches on.”

I pantomimed a parasite latching onto my arm. Veronica hid her laugh, and I heard a throat clear behind me. There was Julian, tapping his foot as if he were irritated.

“You don’t scare me anymore, Julian,” I said, “The only thing you’d do is push me in a river again. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m a lot taller than I used to be.”

He scoffed, asking me if I thought him incapable.

“I did it. If I can, he can.” Came Veronica’s voice from behind.

They snickered together as she recounted the story. They were both rascals, and I had only noticed that it was going to be a problem. Absolutely wonderful. This was going to be a long few days. After waiting for the two sudden companions to quiet down, we left town.

Veronica seemed happy to be on the road again, despite her probable dislike of walking so much. She was unusually quiet. I assumed it was partly due to the fact Julian was there, and partly because she was tired. I also think she was still waiting for some sign I treated her differently. Hopefully she would understand in time that it only made her more real to me.

“Hey, Matt,” she called, asking me what some flowers were.

“Matt?” Julian asked from behind, confused.

I forgot about the name. Realizing he hadn’t seen me since I was younger, I explained to him that Veronica gave me a name because I didn’t really have one. I gave her another strange look, one that told her my name didn’t matter that much. Interesting enough, I thought of myself as a Matt now. I didn’t originally care about my name, but now it felt like a part of me.

“I would have gone insane if the whole time I knew him I just called him things like hey you. Or person. Or perhaps really weird blonde guy.”

I gasped in mock sadness, saying, “Ouch. Low blow.”

Julian surveyed us a moment, then said, “I would have just called him snotball. Or delinquent kid.”

Veronica smiled, and I gave him a light punch in the arm.

“I think I like you, kid,” he said.

Veronica’s face darkened slightly, because she hated nicknames.

“Just a fair warning, Julian. I wouldn’t give Veronica a nickname. She’ll make you regret it.”

She looked at me as if I was dirtying her reputation, but hid a smile. We walked on, Veronica thinking Julian’s antics to be normal. She was right, but it meant she didn’t laugh at him as much.It had only been us out on the road before, so introducing a new person into the mix was a little strange for her. She walked on my side, close enough she turned when we did but not close enough to be touching.

We stopped to fill our water bottles, and I looked over my shoulder to make sure I wouldn’t end up wet again. Please don’t dump her in a river, I thought. If Julian did something stupid because it was funny, Veronica would be mad at him. If she was mad at him she wouldn’t want to hear what he was saying, the whole point in him coming along. Fortunately, we continued without an incident.

We talked about the natural world as always, with Julian imputing things. When we reached our camp, the sun was going down.

“Veronica, would you make the fire?” I asked her when Julian was getting more water.

“By myself?” she asked, doubtful, “What if I mess up?”

I smiled at her reassuringly before saying, “You’ll do fine. You’ve done it the past few nights, and you can do it now. I promise.”

She was nervous because Julian was here. She kneeled by the tinder, hesitantly holding the flint and steel. Taking a deep breath, she struck down perfectly, causing a shower of embers that caught fire immediately. She bent down and blew gently on them, kindling it. It caught fire with the rest of the material, and she had created a glowing circle of warmth. Julian applauded, complementing her.

“You already know how to light a fire? Your friend over there took nearly two weeks to light a fire, and he was mediocre at best.”

She looked at me expectantly, and then started laughing, falling back on the ground and rolling.

“Hey!” I said, offended, “It was windy all the time! Two weeks isn’t that long of a time.” 

He scoffed, but flung his arm around me and pulled me into a friendly hug. Meanwhile, Veronica was still laughing. I cleared my throat, and she stopped, sitting up and wiping her eyes.

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized, still smiling, “It’s just funny to think of you not knowing anything.”

They continued to talk about my earlier years, much to my dismay. But still, she was getting along with him, even if it was at my expense. Julian was a silly guy, but he knew a lot about the world. He’d been a drifter since he was a teenager, and had taught my teacher. We sat by the campfire and told stories.

We laid out our sleeping bags, with me in the middle and Veronica and Julian on either side of me. Veronica didn’t take out Ozzie, something not entirely unexpected.

The firewood pile was running low, so I volunteered to gather wood. I hoped Julian could use my absence to his advantage, and teach her something she wouldn’t be comfortable learning with me there. I also hoped that something was something beneficial, like connecting to people, and not something like how to hijack a car.

While I was searching the ground, I reflected on last night. She had been very vague about her father’s disappearance, probably because she didn’t know. It troubled me, for I had not read any stories in the newspaper about such a tragic story. I always picked up a copy in town, to keep up on the world news.

This meant that in all likelihood, he was still alive and out in the world. The thought made me nauseous, and I had to take a few breaths to settle my stomach. Hopefully he was far away in a distant continent, or perhaps not even alive still. I wondered if Veronica had contemplated the idea. I wished she hadn’t and never would, for it would only cause her distress.

I headed back to the campsite with a bundle of wood. I entered the clearing, surprised to see Julian alone. Panic seized my heart for a moment. I had become hyper aware for her safety.

“Where’s Veronica?” I asked my voice low.

Julian looked at me, saying, “Calm yourself. She’s up on that hill over there.”

I looked and saw her dark figure, arms wrapped around her legs.

“Did something happen to you guys last night?” Julian asked as he tended to the fire.

“What do you mean?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Don’t play games with me, kid.” He responded, looking up from the fire. “You know what I mean. Something is not the same here. You both look at each other differently than you did yesterday. Especially her.”

He gestured his head towards Veronica. Sighing, I realized that this man was going to be the death of me. He knew me better than any other living person on the planet, and that meant he knew when I had something on my mind.

“Why is she over there? Did you say something to upset her? Julian, the purpose of you coming was to teach her something, not bother her!”

He looked at me sharply, and shook his head.

“Don’t you yell at me,” he scowled, “I did teach her something. It just might not have been what she wanted to hear. Either way, don’t act like you know everything in life. You may not be the same kid as when I first met you, but experience counts for more than you think. And my experience tells me that she has changed since yesterday. I’ll be damned if that girl doesn’t love you. And whatever happened last night was the shifting point in your relationship.”

I looked away, wondering if this was true. I know I cared for her immensely, but did she feel the same? The way she had looked at me last night made me think that she did. But he said he had taught her something. Did he tell her that she loved me? And she didn’t want to hear it?

“Julian, do you realize what you could’ve done? Veronica is not a very trusting person, understandably. She has up barriers to everyone. You can’t just break down walls like that right away! I just got her to open up to me, to let down the walls a little, and now you tell her she loves me? Do you understand what kind of a shock that is? If I’m lucky she just won’t want to talk about it. If I’m not, she’ll just shut down on me completely.”

Realizing my anger was getting the best of me, I pinched my nose in between my fingers, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.

“She needed to hear it. Now that she knows, she can think about it. It’s something you have to do with new drifters. I did it with you. Remember when I told you what you didn’t want to hear?”

I nodded. I was acting tough, pretending I was better than everyone else. He pulled me aside late one evening, and told me I needed to wisen up. He said that the world wasn’t fair, and that I would never get anywhere by pretending I was tough. I wouldn’t get anything, except maybe a beating by a group of people I thought I could handle.

It made me so mad, I remember, but it was true. I had been beaten up before I had met him, underestimating my opponents. I would normally have just brushed it off as another stupid old man, but his abruptness and brutal honesty caught my attention. I was still as headstrong, but I thought about my actions more.

“Why do you have this annoying habit of being right all the time? You’re impossible. I guess I should go talk to her.”

He gave me a thumbs up, and I slowly ascended the hill.

Veronica was sitting there, her head rested on her folded arms.

“Hey,” I called softly.

Her eyes flickered over to me, and then returned to their original position.

“Hi,” she responded.

“Is this seat taken?” I asked, gesturing to a grassy spot next to her.

“Not that I know of,” She answered.

I sat down, thinking about what I should say.

“Listen,” I began, but she cut me off.

“You know,” she started, “I don’t quite understand how life works anymore. It was always complicated, but the past few days have been crazy. Isn’t it strange, the things that happen? I guess you could say fate has a sense of humor.”

She was still looking straight ahead.

“Yeah,” I replied, “You could. Life isn’t something that can be figured out exactly, just something that can be researched and that one can come to a better understanding with.”

She agreed, and resumed her silence. Just as I was about to speak again, she shuffled.

“Did you ever have a teacher, Matt?” she asked, “Something akin to our arrangement?”

She was avoiding eye contact, and partially withdrawing. It bothered me she had used the word arrangement, and not something like our relationship, or friendship. I knew her better than most, but this was still a very slippery slope.

I didn’t have the best past in the world, what I cared to remember. I also didn’t feel excited to explain my teacher. Still, she had shown me something very personal last night. There was no doubt she felt like her world was spiraling out of control, confused about her feelings and worried that she had lost a major barrier. I sighed.

I was going to have to tell her, because that way she would know about me like I knew about her. We had to even the scales, or she would balance them herself by withdrawing completely.

“Yes, I did.” I responded, settling in for the questions.

She looked at me, mildly surprised.

“What was he or she like? How did you meet? Do you still see them like Julian? Was it Julian? If you don’t mind me asking.” She asked, adding in the question with embarrassment.

I chuckled at her enthusiasm, and thought about Julian being my teacher.

“No, it wasn’t Julian. I would have killed him. Or we would kill each other. He’s just a friend of my teacher.”

She was attentive now, and I knew this was the time to get her to trust me. I was going to have to be honest, and tell her about my past.

“The first thing you have to understand Veronica, is that I wasn’t the best person when I was young. I’ve learned so much since then, but that’s how I started.”

She nodded, completely polite and on her best behavior. Taking a deep breath, I continued.