vanillagate

'You've to come up to the cash office. It's about the missing ice cream'.

What fuckin' ice cream

What's missing about it, thought Dee, her throat gripped by fear, and her heart doing it's usual scary, thumpy thing.

'Deep breaths in? Great. Now out, slowly'.

That tv programme about stress came in handy, sure it did.

'What's up now', she asked the lassie who had summoned her, as they both climbed the narrow stairs into the lion's den.

'Dunno', replied Liv. 'A wiz jist gettin' some change fur the bars. String Heid's in a right tiz aboot somethin' or other'.

Helga was tapping angrily at her calculator, having to cancel just about every column of work as it was incorrect. More hurry less speed, as my auld granny used to say.

Liv stood guard as l looked down into the face of one unhappy woman. She stopped faffing for a minute, to ask me what had happened to the missing thirty quid.

'What thirty quid, an' how is it missin'.

Here we go, pistols at dawn. The old ticker started to perform, but Dee gasped in some air, quelling the wheezy onset.

'I was told that you had a tray of ice creams unaccounted for. That equals thirty quid, and as the duty manager, l have to investigate the matter. Do you understand'.

Dee looked around, trying to recall her movements in the stalls during the fifteen minutes of the interval. No. She hadn't stuffed twelve cartons of e numbers down her balconette. Maybe this was a dream. Liz continued.

'We are a business here and as l am in charge, have to account for stock loss. What happened out there today. C'mon'. Bang bang of the table. 'I'm busy'.

Some of the staff were climbing past us to get to their belongings, stopped in their tracks by a loud 'GET OUT. Can't you see l'm dealing with something right now? God', Liz tutted looking up to heaven, arms flaying.

The shocked bar staff stopped their chattering, and silently descended the stairs of gloom into the cold foyer. They'd have to wonder what THAT was all about. Same as Dee

Usually wee Dee would shrivel up an' rack her brain for a quick solution to what the problem or trouble she thought she had caused. But not today. Although trembling with anger, she looked Liz in the eye and said in front of the others, 'Why are you talking to me like that? I spoke to Annie, and she said l definitely sold all the ice creams'.

Chronic delivery, Dee. Straighten up, you ain't done a thing. Bit OTT, this.

'What's Annie got to do with it?' (got to do with it, Tina warbled)

She was feeling weird, like some detainee with a super strength spotlight on her. That's what it was like, anyway.

'Annie chucked aw the ice cream in ma tray. It was mental busy. She was being uber helpful. I spoke to Annie just now. Told her to tell Helga no tray was missing, it'd been sold. Did Annie not speak to you?'

'Av goat ti inforum thu' management', cackled Helga brusquelly. 'Any time. When thur's been a discrepancy. That's ma joab, awright. A canny jist no. Awright?'.

But there is none. Discrepancy thingys.

'I sold ice creams. The place was heavin'. Usual stuff. Annie helped. She counted it with me. There's no missing money', Dee was pleadingly sticking to her guns, barrel cocked.

'Oh, alright. I'll speak to Annie later. There's a show on, if you didn't know. Get back to your work. I'll have to sort this matter later'. Liz was dismissing everyone, like a proper Sgt Major. 'Yesssir'.

'I really don't appreciate you speaking to me like this. And in front of other members of staff'. Dee blinked at Liz, who was bashing away on the keyboard.

'Well, l would do this with anyone. Thirty pounds is thirty pounds'.

One of the girls earlier had thought she mislaid a float, and Liz was laughing playfully with her. Stop it. Ms Paranoid. Get back to where you came from.

Dee sat in the wee usher seat at the back of the stalls. As she watched for the twentieth time, the panto was gradually getting her body back to normal. Kids and their families. Normal. She wished she felt normal.

The rear door opened gently, and Susie tip toed over to where Dee was sitting. Beckoning, they both left the noisy show, walking outside to chat.

'Oh Dee. That was so uncomfortable. Are you ok?'.

Susie hugged her colleague.

'Was l rude? I'm so upset. Cold hearted cow. She makes no secret of how she feels about me. Very professional. She practically called me a tea leaf!'.

'No. You stood up for yourself. Are you going to do anything about this? Speak to the union? It's not on'.

'Nah. That's what they want. I'll keep ma head down. I've no done anythin' wrong. Thanks tho. Means a lot'.

Just wait till Annie finds out. She'll hit the roof. After all, she was helping Dee. So maybe she made a boo boo? It was my tray, though, Dee ruminated.

'He's behind you', screamed the audience.

Yes. That was true. They WERE behind me, thought Dee, as she viewed the escapades on stage. Thing's would be alright.

Peace on earth an' aw that malarkey, she sighed.