Himmel's Fantastical Non-Adventure

It started with Ma telling Hav and I to get some mushrooms from the forest for the next day's supper, which did vex me because I was having such a gay time with the kittens. Hav says if I wash them in the pond then they'll grow as big as castles but I don't believe her because Hav's a liar and she stole a wheel of cheese once. Anyway we went through the hay fields which make me sneeze and on the way to the forest I helped Hav milk the cows by holding the bucket. A cow winked at me once. Hav says cows don't know what winking is but Hav's a liar. How can cheese come from milk? It's not even wet. If the gods were smarter they'd have made me Hav's big sister and not the other way around.

Anyway we went over to the forest with me carrying the bucket all the way and just when we were about to go in Hav told me to wait there because I'd only get my dress dirty. I told her I wouldn't but she didn't listen. She told me to call if I needed her and left me there to guard the bucket. I was seeing how many times I could go around the bucket without getting dizzy when I heard someone call my name. That's when I saw Liang. Poor Liang. He looked like a cat dog, like my kittens but with droopy ears and a big bushy tail. He told me his name was Liang the Sumsssku and said I was as pretty as Swedish weather. I said thank you kindly, sir, like Da taught me. I wasn't surprised to be speaking to a cat dog because Ma tells me stories of such things at bed time and a cow winked at me once.

Liang told me that he had come all the way from Chiner because the mean people there made him leave and that if I wanted I could take I trip to the spirit world. All I'd have to do was sign his paper. I told him I couldn't write but he said a cross would do. I was about to do it but then I remembered I was supposed to be guarding the bucket. He said I could take the bucket with me. I said thank you kindly, sir, but Ma needs the bucket and the milk in it. Not to make cheese though, that's silly. I said it wouldn't do to have the bucket in the spirit world. Liang looked sad but then said he'd show me a taster to see if it'd change my mind. Then the moon ate the sun and the tree opened up to show the floating, fluffy village in it. The fluffy village looked so fun and Ma could've done without the milk I'm sure.

Liang came down so I could sign the paper with the cross and I would have done it only to take a little visit to the spirit world, but then Hav ruined everything. She came out of the forest and when she saw Liang she hit him with her mushroom knife. I tried to stop her but it was too late; the moon spat out the sun and the tree closed shut and Liang stopped moving. Hav says she didn't hear Liang talking or see the moon eat the sun or the village in the tree but Hav's a liar liar liar!

Ma and Da and Hav ate Liang with the mushrooms and the milk and the cheese. They said I made the whole thing up when I tried to tell them. Poor Liang. Though, one thing they couldn't call me silly for was the Liang's paper. It's covered in funny squiggles that none of them can read. Huh, I still haven't signed it...