Lost Time

you are 9:31 pm
when I set down my book
because it’s finally too dark to see
the words 
that were distracting me
from my loneliness

you are 9:32 pm
when I flip on a light
and stare at my closed book
unable to summon the will
to start reading again

you are 9:33 pm
when I sigh
check my phone again
and turn on the tub faucet

you are not 9:35-10:16
when I sit in the tub 
and nothing exists

you are 10:18 pm
when I crawl,
dripping wet, 
into bed

you are 10:56 pm
when I wake up
put on clothes
turn off the light
debate telling you good night
and hide under my covers