An EDIT on CHAPTER 14: RELAPSE

I had to do some rearranging of events and needed to edit in something, that way it makes sense later in the story!

 

Because the text limit won't allow me to add in this part without making the chapter into two parts. I'm placing in bold what was added into the story for CHAPTER 8!

 

The boys all joined in name calling and landed a few smacks on each of us. The boy sitting on my legs leaned his body on me flat. I passively took it, my mind colliding with old memories. My brain swelled from the pain those memories brought me. Flashes of the abuse from boys I withstood hit and the recollection of never doing anything about it swarmed my bones. 

While the commotion continued the boy lying on me spoke, “How bout a little kiss?”

Within seconds my crow finally appeared and knocked straight into the boy’s face. Vigorously scratching and pecking at his ear and neck. The boy let out a wail as he tried to shoo my spirit away. He fell off the side of me; I kicked my leg up and struck the other boy in the jaw.

They both tumbled off me and I was free. Tori jumped off of Jonah and lunged for me. I thought I could have everything under control but I didn’t, I screamed as my fist met Tori’s chest. It landed and knocked him on his backside. The other five boys sprang from their victims and jumped towards me.

I wasn’t swayed from my stance. I was wrestling them all back, when one by one they were thrown from my fight. I suspected it was Jonah and Aaron retaliating but the fight was breaking out too large to be just them. 

The feeling I had earlier that day began pulsating throughout my body. Ice rushing though my veins, burning my face. I couldn’t subdue it. I opened my hand in a claw and dug a strike into the stomach of the boy that was still wrestling me. I heard something crack. He coughed up blood and collapsed.

But the storm that started in me wasn’t finished with him, I jumped forward on top of him and grabbed the boy by the sides of his face. Everyone flinched. Everyone went silent.

My hands wrapped around his ears. I squeezed aggressively, his eyes were vacant and frightened. I wasn’t myself, I was something much more primal.

Senson and Senoi grabbed my arms and ripped me from him. The markings on my arm began to burn and tingle. The markings wanted me to finish what I started.

The boy lied on the ground, paralyzed from shock. I had intruded some sort of idea on him that made him virtually frozen in time. When I looked up, it seemed that time did stop completely. Jonah and Aaron, the others, all motionless.

Except for the triplets, I met their eyes, shaking my head in disbelief of my actions. That wasn’t me. Whatever I had done, whatever that possessed me to attack him was glitch in my wiring. 

The burning sensation continued, I peeked under my sleeve and saw my markings had turned white. I wanted to run. I wanted to flee from the situation. I wasn’t good with confrontation and avoided it all my life. Owning up to the things I’ve done wrong pinched at my heart without mercy.

Abruptly, Senoi reached for me, “Noa! Noa! Look at me.” I refused to bring my eyes to meet his, “Noa! It’s going to be okay! I know you want to run, I know this is scary but you have to listen,” the thought of a solution instead of a scorn brought me to finally look at him, “Noa, you need to return his spirit.”

He continued to advise with such an understanding and soothing tone that felt like he was confessing his love for me, “Noa, you can undo this. You took his spirit. Just put it back the same way you took it.”

Senoi took both of my hands, guiding them back to the officer’s ears. He gently placed my palms against the sides of the boys head, the entire time I was rigidly moving. Making it no easier for him to reverse the damage I had done. Senoi kept one hand on my shoulder as he continued to advise me, “Now… breathe.”

I turned to him, shaking my head, “I can’t… I can’t.”

“Just try, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

As the pain slipped from my markings, time was reintroduced to the world and everyone was alive in movement.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the twitching boy. Pain. That’s all I was bringing to the world. That’s all I was good at… my intentions were good but that wasn’t enough. I was reinventing myself but what was I becoming? The boy whimpered and curled into a ball. My heart was punctured from the guilt that stabbed me.

I was about to lean down to help him when a hand stopped me. I looked up to discover Senoi and the others. His dark eyes calming me as he spoke softly, “We’ll handle this, you need to take Jonah and Aaron somewhere safe.” 

I hoarsely whispered, “I hurt him… what did I do?”

“It’s going to be alright.” Senoi leaned over and brushed my brown hair out of my face, “It’s alright.”

I nodded and recollected myself. Samel and Senson were guarding the rest of the boys who were passed out on a bench. Jonah and Aaron were standing about a yard away waving for me to get in the car.

I stepped backwards but couldn’t stop looking at Senoi, he waved his hand for me to leave, “Go on, it’s okay.”

Shuffling my feet, I did as he asked, and detached myself from the situation. We all jumped into Aaron’s car and drove straight to his house. Not a word was spoken the entire car ride. Jonah’s expression made his lips tuck in and his eyes squint. Aaron drove well over the speed limit. No one was ready to speak. 

When we pulled in to Aaron’s drive way, neither of them hesitated as they burst out of the car. Jonah had parked his truck in Aaron’s driveway and was about to leave without a word. 

As Jonah pulled the car handle I broke the silence, “Jonah,” I turned to Aaron, “Guys, just wait.” They stopped and took in a breath, “Guys, let’s talk, we can’t ignore what happened.”

In a tone I would have never matched to Jonah, he yelled, “Why? Everyone else does!”

Aaron shook his head, “Jonah…”

Jonah shook the keys under his fist, “It makes no difference if we talk about it, it’s over.”

I wanted more than anything to have Jonah’s attitude, to just keep running, but that’s how I ended up this way. I couldn’t let Jonah follow in my footsteps, no matter how scared I was. Jonah turned to leave again when I realized his arm was bleeding through his long-sleeved shirt. 

With concern I said, “Jonah! Your arm!”

Jonah looked down at his arm and frustratingly growled, “It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.”

“No, Jonah, it might get infected. We have to clean it up.” 

I reached for Jonah’s sleeve but he retracted with aggravation, “I can do it when I get home.”

I stared at him intensely, “Give me your arm, Jonah.” 

His body went limp and his eye dilated on cue. He handed me his arm and I rolled up his sleeve. As I searched for what Tori had done, I revealed a dark secret of Jonah to Aaron and myself. Several gashes arranged down his arm, self-inflicted. Aaron said something but I wasn’t paying attention.

Jonah regained consciousness and a temper I never would have painted on him boiled over his glare. I spoke, “What are you doing to yourself? What is this?”

He stood up straight, “It’s nothing! It’s never anything.” 

Twisting from my grip he opened his car door.

I yell, “You shouldn’t run from this, Jonah.”

He stopped, “Oh, what do you know? What could you possibly know?” He got in, turned on the car, and yelled through his open window as he slowly backed out, “I’m sorry, just… just don’t say anything.”

I knew more then he could even fathom. I knew the path he was paving for himself because I was waiting at the other end. I turned to Aaron, “How long has this been going on?”

Aaron muttered, “The bullying?” I nodded, “Since middle school.”

“And… the things on his arm… since?”

He walked to his porch and sat on the top step, “I don’t know… that’s all news to me.”

Aaron sat still and straight up. His fists tensely sat on his knees. I gently joined him and we didn’t speak. We didn’t speak at all for several minutes. I started to shiver, not from a chill, but from my sadness. My posture had shrunk and everything I was feeling read on my body. I hadn’t noticed but Aaron scooted closer to me.

“Noa?”

Without removing my gaze from the ground, “Yes, Aaron?”

“Are you going to be okay?”

I sighed, “I’m sure I will be.” 

Without thinking an impulse brought me to hold Aaron’s hand. I withdrew it immediately, cringing over my stupidity.

“Why’d you pull away?”

I finally took my stare off of the ground, “Because it’s not the time.” 

The weeds growing in the cracks of the cement shriveled up and died before me. A small lily that grew in a patch followed the same fate. Reminding me that my only purpose left was to suck the life out of everything. 

I spoke softly, “What happens now?”

“We do what we always do,” he tucked his hand underneath mine, gently squeezed, and tiredly announced, “We carry on.”