Someone I Miss

It’s been so long

I can’t even tell my friends I still miss him

Because I know it’s not right

To miss someone who doesn’t want me

And who never wanted me enough.

“I promised to put myself first,”

I remind myself.

“Because no one else will.”

But I know if I ever saw him again

And his expression softened when he looked at me,

Like the way it used to,

I know I would forgive him.

And I would let him touch my shoulder

And I would let him touch my hair

And we would talk like nothing’s wrong

And like he was never gone

And out of longing and missing him so badly,

I would play the fool twice.