Omar's Diary Saturday 2nd January 2016
By Alan Russell
- 483 reads
Man servant suffered two humiliations today. The first one was while he and Lady Servant went riding early this morning. Even I realised after seeing the weather forecast for this morning realised it was not a good idea to go out but go out they did. Guess what? They both returned home looking like two drowned rats. It really was most unseemly coming into the home, through the front door I hasten to add, and dripping water all over the hall carpet. They both looked in a very sorry state but in an effort to ameliorate their discomfort they consoled themselves with a wave of self and mutual adulation.
"Your rising trot was marvellous."
"So was yours and your horse went beautifully, rounded and on the bit."
"We did well despite the rain. It seemed to help our concentration."
Oh how I longed for a fur ball to provide the perfect excuse for a perfectly timed up chuck on the now very wet hall carpet.
Man Servant's second humiliation happened when he took the car to a local garage for a wash. I must admit that the car has got into a bit of a state lately and seems to be carrying a large proportion of alluvial waste fro the nearby River Avon.. He went into the garage and asked for a one pound fifty toke. Apparently the young lady behind the counter looked out of the shop window at the car.
"One pound fifty sir is for three minutes. Do you think that will be enough time?"
Later this afternoon I decided for no apparent reason to throw my weight around a bit. I decided to have a pop at one of The Chavs. I did not hit her or anything but just felt I had to make my presence felt in the dining area where she spends most of her day. Lady Servant heard the slight commotion, picked me up briskly, admonished me and. Dumped me in the garage where man servant was doing something to a piece of wood.
The garage where he was doing something to the piece of wood is quite the under stairs environment. Tools, bits of wood, horse equipment and good news knows what in the colourful tins on the shelf. After ten minutes of poking around the garage and failing to elicit any attention at all from Man Servant I got bored, whined loudly and was allowed back into the main house. Not through the front door but rough the back door.
Today has ended peacefully with bits and pieces of horse equipment dotted around the house on banisters and radiators getting dried presumably in time for tomorrow. I do not know if the servants have seen the weather forecast for tomorrow but it is showing a 100% chance of ran for most of the day. That is more certainty than Man Servants horse racing selections. I just cannot see the point of drying all of that equipment tonight when it is only going to get wet again tomorrow.
I am so glad I am a feline.
- Log in to post comments