Super Zero....A lower middle grade book
By eternaldream24
- 621 reads
chapter 1
Eleven year old Zachary Douglas is running late for school again. First, he sleeps through his alarm, then he can't find any clean underwear to wear, and now halfway to school he realizes he left his backpack at home.
Zach runs back home as fast as he can, passing oddly shaped and brightly colored houses along the way. Tall pink rectangular houses, flat orange hexagon houses, and every other combination you can think of.
If only he had been born with super speed or the ability to fly, like some of the other heroes on his home planet Zorgar, then he'd probably be able to get to school on time. Unfortunately, he was only born with the super high jump ability, which he hasn't quite mastered yet.
He sprints to his house to retrieve his backpack, then continues to school. Finally, he stands outside the bright blue oval shaped school panting heavy breaths. He glances at the flashing neon sign that reads Zorgar East Elementary School... educating and training young heroes.
After regaining some breath, Zachary tiptoes down the hall to his classroom, then freezes anxiously outside the door. Mr. Barnes would be super mad again today. This was his sixth time being late after all. If only he could sneak in without his teacher noticing.
Quietly and carefully he opens the door and starts to crawl across the back of the classroom.
One of his classmates, Eddie Frye, notices him and shouts, "Mr. Barnes Zachary's trying to sneak in late again!"
The whole class goes quiet, and turns to Zach who is mid crawl on the floor. They burst into giggles as Mr. Barnes's booming voice yells, "Mr. Douglas!"
Zachary pops straight up and shouts, "Yes sir!"
"This is the sixth straight time you've been late Mr. Douglas! I will not tolerate this tardiness any more do you understand?"
Zach places his hand over his heart and shouts, "Yes sir, sorry sir!"
Mr. Barnes sighs and motions for him to take a seat. In the chair next to his sits his best friend Jake Mitchell who leans over and whispers, "Hey Zachy did you run all the way here?"
Zach nods.
"Why didn't you take a transport tube?" Jake asks. "It would've been quicker."
Zach smacks his forehead in embarrassment. He completely forgot he could take the transport tubes to school.
The transport tube system is a network of thousands of clear tubes that can zoom a person from one place to another. If a Zorgar hero is unable to fly or super speed, then they will usually use the transport tube system as their means of transportation.
Zach and Jake turn their attention to Mr. Barnes who has just cleared his throat. "As you know, since you have entered grade level five, your Heroes in Training or H.I.T program begins this year."
"We've taken last week to review, and to get to know each other, but now it's down to business."
Zach straightens up in his chair. This is the moment he's waited for. It's finally time to begin his hero training.
"Mr. Barnes straightens his tie, and says "I will play a short video about the H.I.T program, and then we will divide up into partners for your missions."
A large video displays on the classroom's white wall and a deep male voice begins to speak. "Congratulations young hero! You are now officially a member of Zorgar's H.I.T program." "On Zorgar each citizen is born with a special ability, and when you reach the fifth grade, we begin to hone and train those abilities so you can be certified as proper super heroes by the time you graduate high school."
Eddie Frye mumbles, "As if we don't know this stuff already."
The man on the video talks on for another fifteen minutes then says. "Once again congratulations, and welcome to the H.I.T program."
At the end of the video text scrolls across the bottom of the screen, and a faster speaking voice recites, "Hero's unable to pass the H.I.T program are encouraged to use their hero skills working as transportation tube workers, or in other behind the scene's jobs."
Zachary suddenly feels very pressured to do well in his first year as an H.I.T.
When the video is over, the class becomes rowdy with excitement. "Okay class settle down," Mr. Barnes calls. "It's time to choose partners for your daily H.I.T missions."
Everyone becomes quiet and listens closely as Mr. Barnes says, "Heroes in training are required to go on daily missions to practice and develop their skills as heroes." Mr. Barnes clears his throat and continues. "For your first year in the program the missions you are sent on will be very basic and simple." "Please do not expect to be stopping bank robberies or saving people from explosions. Those types of missions will come much later when you are in high school."
Several kids groan in disappointment. "Now then," continues Mr. Barnes, "I will let you choose your own partners for your missions, but keep in mind that once you choose your partner you will remain with that partner for the remainder of the year."
The class starts to buzz again as everyone tries to decide who to partner up with. Jake pats Zach on the back and says, "We'll partner up right buddy?" Zach nods in agreement.
After choosing partners, each pair is instructed to change into their assigned colored super suits (Zach and Jake are assigned lime green ones.)
As they stand next to each other, waiting for Mr. Barnes to give out their first missions, the only thing the same about Zach and Jake is their super suits. Appearance wise, Zach and Jake are complete opposites. Zach's tall and lanky body is topped with a mop of orange curly hair, while Jake's short muscular body is topped with spikes of blonde hair.
"I will now hand out cards that state the details of your first mission." Mr. Barnes says. "The planet earth will be partnering with us during your training, and all assigned missions will take place on earth. Leaders from several earth countries are working with us, and in the future, they hope to be provided with certified heroes to protect them." "They understand of course that this will not happen for many years down the road, so for now let's complete our missions and build a good relationship with planet earth."
The class cheers excitedly as Mr. Barnes begins to pass out the cards. He walks up to each pair, then presses a button on the ear piece he is wearing, and after a moment a four by six card comes out of the small machine on his waist.
Before they know it, Mr. Barnes is standing in front of Zach and Jake. "Okay boys, let's get the details on your first mission." He taps his earpiece again, and a minute later he is reading off the mission from the card in his hand. "Alright, it looks like your first mission and all other missions will take place in Glassburg Pennsylvania, which is a small place in an earth country called America." Mr. Barnes says excitedly.
"Um, excuse me Mr. Barnes," Zach says, "Did you say that all our missions would take place in this Glassburger place?"
"It's Glassburg" Mr. Barnes replies, "And yes, all your missions will take place there. Every other team has been assigned a specific location for their missions this year as well. The school finds it easier to run things this way."
Mr. Barnes reads off the contents of the card, and Zach and Jake find out that their first mission is rescuing a cat stuck a top a high tree branch. They look at each other confused, and realize many of the other partners look confused as well. Several are voicing words of disappointment.
"Quiet down everyone, remember what I said earlier, these missions will be the most basic and simple missions since this your first year in the program."
Once everyone is done grumbling and complaining, Mr. Barnes leads each pair to the intra-universe transport tube that will take them to earth. Zach sweats nervously as his turn is coming up quickly.
"Hold on tight to your partner during your ride." Mr. Barnes calls.
Jake turns to Zach and gives him a big smile. "It's our turn next buddy! You ready?"
Zach gives a small nod, and before he knows it he's zooming away towards planet earth.
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Comments
Hello - welcome to ABC Tales.
Hello - welcome to ABC Tales. I really like the premise of this and it sets up the situation well. The pacing is good, with the exposition broken up by dialogue and action so that we don't feel we've been lectured. I like the way you're straight into the action.
One or two minor quibbles. I wasn't convinced that Zach would just forget he could take the tubes to school or, if he did, that there would be a reason for this - maybe they've only just opened up a tubes station near his home or something. Eddie's comment 'As if we don't know this stuff already' felt a bit clunky and draws attention to the fact that the information is aimed solely at the reader. It takes you out of the story for a moment. Perhaps something like having the kids mouthing along to the words because yes, they've heard it all before?
The formatting has gone a bit awry, and the paragraphs aren't properly delineated, which makes it harder to read on the screen.
Good start and really looking forward to reading more.
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