Running Scared

Running Scared

                No matter how hard I run I cannot escape the enemy.  I’ve tried hiding under the duvet, locking the door and closing my eyes.  I could write and entire book on where I’ve run in my life, but the outcome is always the same.  I’ve gone to great lengths to find a place of solitude and safety far far away from my greatest enemy, but he always finds me. I climbed aboard a plane, not telling him where I was going. The plane flew at incredible speed and thousands of miles, but when the stewardess opened the door he was there on the steps to greet me.

                True, no one can see my enemy and no one has ever witnessed the damage he’s done to my life.  No signs of battle, no blood or scars to show.  No, that would be easy wouldn’t it. A quick sticking plaster or bandage and a soothing kiss it better and all is well. I’ve tried to tell others about him, but they don’t really want to know.  I can see their shrinking looks as they search for the nearest exit or person to run to.  “How are you?” is a load of bullshit.  If I start to tell them all I can see is that thought written in capitals with an exclamation mark written all over their faces (“Oh God, I wish I’d never asked!”) and from that instant the off switch stays permanently in position.

                We all like enemies we can clearly see.  It makes it easier to deal with them. Ask any General and he (maybe she of course) will tell you they like a target that is identifiable and easy to hit.  Even worse when it’s not even clear who the enemy is. 

                My enemy is the ultimate Zygon, Shape-Shifter, Chameleon who morphs into my deepest fear…the other me.  Don’t be scared.  He won’t hurt you or anyone else for that matter.  No, he’s been pursuing me since I gained the power of thought and reason.  That’s a laugh…reason.  He’s never been one for that.  Mr Spock would define it as “Most illogical” and move on.

                You should have guessed it by now.  My mind or perhaps even my alter-ego is the feared pursuant.  That’s how he got there ahead of me when I stepped down from the plane.  I can be in a place of total silence and he will carry on his incessant chattering.  Deep space between galaxies in as near a perfect vacuum as is possible and his hot air breathes down my neck and whispers in my ear.  Just occasionally he runs out of things to say. Yet I wait for the next salvo to assault my battered mind.