Shauna Woo 3

You see why I wanted to leave home so badly. All this attention that I was getting was making me sick. I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew me, and I was sick of being this good little girl. Was this really me? I DIDN'T THINK SO. I really did not know who I was. I was obedient. Was that good? I was actually a little bit ashamed of my parents. My mother had wiry hair and never got her hair done. She looked like she had just woken up most of the time. And with her glasses! But is this what God wanted me to do? Or was I using God as an excuse for doing what I wanted to do? 

All I wanted to do was figure out who I was. It was so hard to figure that out when so many people were expecting me to be so many things. Or rather, they wanted me to be one thing. An obedient, passive being.

That I could not be. I wanted to explore the world. Suffer. Live real life and not be subjected to arbitrary rules. I just did not want to hurt my parents so much. It was as if they had the same skin as I did. I did not want to lose them. WE. 

But if I were to leave, I knew that I had to leave completely, thoroughly, and mindlessly.

I prayed to God for a long time. I prayed that this not be a selfish thing. I wanted so much to understand life, to know what made the Universe tick and many, many other things. Would God lead me into the truth and show me the world through him?