All Them Monkeys, All Them Bears

All them monkeys, all them bears,

O my goodness, how they stare.

How they gnash, to what effect,

call the doctor, fetch the vet!

Please sedate that giant ape,

the one that gives you ardent hate.

Hide the food and liquor too,

before the house becomes a zoo.

They've sent you out for tons of nosh -

nuts, bananas, honey, gosh!

You'd think such eating calms the beasts,

but they love fighting as much as feasts.

They've smashed the tables, torn the chairs

(the polars blamed the grizzly bears).

They've scratched and warped the dining table,

frightened Derek, eaten Mabel.

Little Suzie they taught foul tricks

(swinging naked made her sick).

Uncle Dick was ridden round

by a chimp who later found

Amelia's best frocks and dresses;

she'll never guess what made such mess of

all her knitwear and fine suits.

Orangutans in bikinis - never cute.