to Saffron

 

you enchant me

you’ve left me

and properly

should be past tense

but you still enchant me

I wish I knew why

 

I am chuckling at

you filling our pond with plastic ducks

pirated from a seaside gift shop tub

 

you stepping from a bath of bubbles

waving at cheering neighbours

through the open window

as the drip drip of foam revealed you

 

yes, I love you

and guess,

though you cut me with words

and stabbed me with silence,

wherever you are

you love me still

 

we drank too much

smoked too much kif

you clung to me and cursed me

for feeding your weakness

 

loving me, hating me,

wanting me, despising me

gripping me, rejecting me

 

you said I blocked your writing

(while you put paid to mine)

 

remember the rainy day

they cut down the rotten elm

you feared would flatten our cottage?

 

as we stood at the door

breathing deep the petrichor

you warned the pond would overflow

 

laughing and dancing in the shower

of rain and wood chips,

a 'white Christmas' - midsummer 

 

a good day

our last full day together... 

 

unless you come back to me...

please come back to me

 

here in the courtyard

thinking of you,

thinking of us

I’m holding back tears

 

the flags are dry,

a flock of yellow ducks,

and a sprinkling of elm dust remain.