A Good Pint

Let's go tut pub for a pint of ale.
It's not that bad; no need to wail.
If toilet's flooded, paper boats we can sail.
If urinal stinks, we can deeply inhale.
With that in your lungs, no virus can prevail.
And there's always the log fire, all smoke and gale.
If you want to be sick, there's a virdigris pail.
They do a nice salad, with an odd rusty nail.
And when we head for home...
It'll be like leaving jail.